“I Need a MAN!” has gone VIRAL!

My poem “I Need a MAN!” has gone viral!  It’s been on my YouTube channel for over 2 years, but it wasn’t until my friend Gary downloaded it from YouTube and converted it into a regular video, that it has suddenly gone viral!  it’s been shared extensively, you may have seen it in a Whatsapp group, or on Facebook?  One of the videos posted in a FB group had over 800 comments, and 22 shares!

As is to be expected, the comments were both positive and negative, and people were questioning whether I was that woman, or just acting.  So I thought I should at least explain my thinking behind the concept!  First, here’s the video:

The original version is over 9 minutes long, and embodies 5 different types of Black Woman; The Career Woman (at the beginning of the video), who has spent the best part of her life building her career.  It has paid off in terms of material possessions, but her lack of investment in her relationships has left her man-less.  The poem also features the Conscious Sistar, the Single Mother, the Religious/Church Sister, and ‘Miss Bootilicious’, who is in touch with her sexuality.   (I’d say, there’s a piece of me in all of them!)

They all need a man, but they all have different needs!

For the record, I don’t live alone (I have three ‘suns’), I’m still working on having all the money in the bank I need, I don’t go ‘out with the girls’, I don’t have a King-sized bed, etc. etc. But I DO like ‘fullly melanated’ brothers, I DO need someone who’s business-minded, and am remaining celibate until I meet ‘The One’!

I wrote “I Need a MAN!” in 2009, which mentioned doing the ‘6 Month Test’.  When I was led to write the book ‘How to Get the Ring On Your Finger’ in 2013, it explained how to do the 6 Month Test fully. (FREE to download when you subscribe, or available on Amazon or Lulu in paperback).  This was not a conscious decision on my part!

Much of what I write is ‘auto-written’, (meaning I don’t have to think it up, it just comes through me).  The 6 Month Test will help you to avoid jumping into bed with a man (or woman) until you are sure the person is right for you.  It will help you build a solid foundation upon which to build a committed relationship leading to marriage as opposed to long (or short) term dating.

The poem was also an experiment in the Law of Attraction; what would happen if you get really clear about what you desire in a man (or woman), and write it down?  The power of the written and spoken word, is what this poem is all about.  Watch my recent live performance of “I Need a MAN!”

Listen to the full length version on my Soundcloud (some naughty bits in it, but nice!)

(For bookings email Michael at upspoken@gmail.com)

In your service,

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Cezanne Taharqa aka Cezanne Poetess

Award-winning Visual & Spoken Word Artist| International Author| Events Host| Workshop Facilitator

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Leaving a Legacy & December Events!

Last week was an event-full week!

On Saturday I attended the Legacy Gala where we championed people within our community who were making a positive impact and leaving a legacy (maybe I’ll be included next year!)  An old friend of mine, Marlon ‘Kush’ Palmer received an award for his contributions to showcasing Black films over the last 20 years (I designed his very first logo!).

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I was interviewed at the Gala by ‘No Ordinary Woman’ Chat Show about my novel ‘Journey of a Sister’ – it was a coincidence that I’d only met the presenter Caz-Maz a few days earlier at the Mayor of Southwark’s Office! (That’s another story!)

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And last Thursday, I attended the Premier Screening of ‘Birth of a Nation’.  It wasn’t what I expected, as most of the film simply promoted white supremacy, and blatantly showed how the bible was used to subdue my ancestors and turn them docile.  I thought I was going to see an empowering film about revolution, but for me, ‘The Birth of a Nation’ was really about the birth of white supremacy through the enslavement of my ancestors.  As the descendant of an enslaved African, in my opinion, this film did nothing to empower me, and did nothing to honour my ancestors.

The bright side was, I had the opportunity to perform my poem “Who Am I?” before the film started.  It was befitting for me to perform this particular poem, because when I was in Ghana in November 2014, I performed this same poem in the dungeons where my ancestors were held in squalid conditions before being torn from their Motherland and shipped from Cape Coast (one of them was called ‘The Good Ship Jesus’).  I performed it right on the spot where my ancestors were held captive. It was also the 8th anniversary of my grandmothers passing:

It took me a year to write about my experiences in Ghana, but the last two chapters of my revised Self-help novel now titled ‘Journey of a Sister’ are based upon my experiences there. Get your paperback here (ships worldwide).

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Anyway, the following day (Friday), I went to see the play ‘So You Think I’m Crazy?’ at the Bernie Grant Arts Centre in Tottenham, North London.  Brilliant acting, which again portrayed the many ways my people are under psychological attack – this time through the Mental Health system.  Here’s a clip:

Religion, mainstream media, the food we eat, the music we listen to, and the (mis) education system, are some of the ways we battle psychological warfare.

Along my own Self-healing journey, I studied how the mind works in order to heal myself from depression and self-sabotage.  I learnt that our childhood programming determines how we think and act as adults.  As someone who was indoctrinated into a religion from a very young age, it took me years to un-indoctrinate myself.  On top of that, I’m still going through the process of re-programming my subconscious mind from the negative words and beatings I received as a child (that’s how deep it goes!)  I now know that the whippings my ancestors received were to break them down mentally in order to control them physically.  My parent’s generation were simply enacting their genetic coding of beating their children mercilessly, being emotionally detached from them, speaking negatively to them (e.g. “You are worthless/good for nothing/ugly…”), and taking them to church to be indoctrinated to be humble servants.  I am grateful for my upbringing, because that’s what has led me to the path I’m on today; to help my people ‘break free from mental slavery’.

Religion is a Mind Control tool.  When coupled with the slave mentality, it leaves our minds weak and susceptible to any suggestion made to them.  I seek to work with those who are raising the next generation, because as Frederick Douglas said, “It’s easier to raise strong children than to mend broken adults”. If you are committed to the process of healing, read my Self-help books!

After watching the film ‘Sankofa’ in 2010, I cried out to my ancestors and asked them what I could do to help my people heal.  The following morning, I played the guitar track and recorded ‘We Belong Together’ in my home studio (I recorded it first, then wrote it after – it was channeled!):

Since then I’ve also written ‘Journey of a Sister’ and ‘How to Get the Ring On Your Finger’ (which has contributions from over 30 brothers).  Both books look at how our PAST has affected the way we relate to each other TODAY. They will help you begin the process of Self-healing, and help you build Self Love, Love for your race, Self-dignity and Pride in who you are.

These are the legacies I am leaving for my commUNITY, read them!  You can download ‘How to Get the Ring On Your Finger’ FREE when you subscribe, or get both paperbacks signed by me from the Books page for only £14.99! (ships worldwide, Paypal will convert currency).

December Events:

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This Sunday I’m doing a Presentation at the Launch of ‘Kings & Queens United’, a new platform aimed at helping us ‘re-create our bonds’.   My interactive talk will be based on the topics raised in ‘How to Get the Ring On Your Finger’, and I’ll also be performing my poem ‘R U The One?’  This is a Dinner & Discussion type of event, download the e-book of ‘How to Get the Ring On Your Finger’ FREE, and come and join in the discussion!  Book your ticket here, which includes a Caribbean buffet meal!

SAD Presentation @ Brixton Library Sunday 18th December 2-4pm

Read my blog post on how Colour Therapy can ease symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder, and come to my FREE workshop! (Books and Art Prints will be on sale)

For details of other events I’ll be at during December visit the Events page!

I look forward to seeing you!

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Award-winning Visual & Spoken Word Artist, International Author, Events Host, Workshop Facilitator

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Join us for the BOOK LAUNCH this SUNDAY 6th Nov!

Just 4 DAYS TO GO!

I’m getting all excited; what I’ve been doing in the dark is finally coming to light!

The Revised Editions for both my Self-help books have gone to print, and I’m expecting 1,000 copies of each!  It’s been a labour of love, patience and focus, to bring you these Revised Editions!  (I’ll be explaining why I felt the need to revise them on the day).

On Sunday, we’re going to be discussing ‘How to Get the Ring On Your Finger‘ – some of the brothers who contributed to it will be on the Panel to answer your questions – get the FREE download so you can come and join in the discussion!

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Watch a clip from the Book Launch of the First Edition to get an idea of what to expect:

BOOK Your Seat!

Visit Eventbrite to book your FREE ticket, or pre-order your book to guarantee your seat! (please only reserve a free ticket if you know you’ll be able to attend). Pre-ordering your book in advance means you won’t have to queue up to get it signed on the day!

Out with the Old, in with the New!

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If you bought the First Edition of my Self-help Novel, bring it with you to get the Second Edition for only £5! You can keep the first one as well  🙂

RAFFLE and Art Print Sale! 

You’ll also be able to WIN Framed and Laminated Prints of my art in the Raffle, and I’ll also be selling them on the day!  (They all feature in my novel).

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Get a FREE copy of ‘Journey of a Sister‘ when you join my 30 Day Online Course!

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More about it on the day, or visit www.journeyofasister.com/mind-detox

(You can pay for books and the Online Course by Paypal, credit or debit cards.)

I look forward to seeing you there!

HOW TO GET THERE:

The Marcus Garvey Library is less than a 10 minute walk from Seven Sisters station, or you can get the 149, 279, 259, or 349 two stops.  If you are coming on the underground, turn left when you come through the ticket barriers, and go up the stairs past the sweet shop.  When you get off the bus (two stops), stay on the same side and take the path towards the Bernie Grant Arts Centre, you’ll find Tottenham Green Leisure Centre behind it (take the path to your right).

To reserve your seat(s) visit Eventbrite

In your service,

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Award-winning Visual & Spoken Word Artist|Author|Blogger|Events Host|Workshop Facilitator

Questions or Comments?  Leave me a message:

Join me at my BOOK LAUNCH on Sunday 6th November!

It is with great pleasure that I can finally announce the official BOOK LAUNCH of my revised Self-help novel ‘Journey of a Sister‘, and my Self-help book ‘How to Get the Ring On Your Finger‘!  Join me on Sunday 6th November from 2-6pm at a (not publicized) venue in North London!  The event is for those who have read my books in advance, as we will be discussing the topics raised in them on the day.  You can get a FREE download of ‘How to Get the Ring On Your Finger‘ when you subscribe (see pop up box), and you can start Journey of a Sister by reading Year One Free! (click on the link)

There will be a panel of brothers who contributed to ‘How to Get the Ring On Your Finger‘ to take part in the discussion, and to answer any questions!

I will be attending various events leading up to the launch where you’ll be able to get signed paperbacks of ‘How to Get the Ring On Your Finger‘ and my award-winning poetry CD ‘Seeds of Love‘ with its Book of Lyrics (all 13 poems feature in  my Self-help novel ‘Journey of a Sister‘).  Listen to some on my Poetry page!

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Bring Back the Love is Back!

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I’ll be hosting BAP Theatre’s event ‘Bring Back the Love‘ taking place this Friday 30th September at The Enterprise Centre, 639 High Road, Tottenham N17 8AA.  Join us as  we explore relationship issues through Drama & Debate!  Tickets are only  £6.50 in advance, £8.00 on the door, get yours from www.baptheatre.com!  Next month, on Thursday 27th October, all the sketches will be based on my Self-help novel ‘Journey of a Sister‘!

If you enjoyed reading Year One free, pre-order your signed paperback  for only £9.99 so you can come and join in the discussion!  I’m  aiming to print it with my artwork in FULL COLOUR so YOU can benefit from the COLOUR THERAPY in them!  For  more info visit my Art Page! (Last day for pre-ordering: Monday 10th October)

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SPECIAL OFFER: Get ‘Journey of a Sister’ with ‘How to Get the Ring On Your Finger‘for only £14.99!

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LIMITED OFFER: Get all four of my products together for only £19.99!

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Buy Now Button with Credit Cards

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Payment can be made through Paypal (Artisan Impression).

Help ME help YOU! When you pre-order your books, you’ll also be sent a FREE invite to the Book Launch (taking place on Sunday 6th November from 2-6pm in North London, N17).

Last but not least, here’s a snippet of my poem “I Need a MAN!” accompanied by saxophonist Wadada!


P.S. Visit my Events Page for details of more events I’m taking part in leading up to the Launch, hope to see you at one of them!

Follow your heart!

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Visual & Spoken Word Artist|Author|Blogger|Events Host|Black Love Promoter

Promoting LOVE through Creativity!

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Want more? Go on my Blog Tour! (click on Day 1 to start)

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Blog Tour Day Five: Finding Your Purpose

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Today’s article was written exclusively for Authentically You Magazine, and is called Finding Your Purpose.

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In it, I’ve explained how I found my purpose, and how I can help YOU find YOURS!

If you would like help with this process, start by reading Year One of my Self-help novel ‘Journey of a Sister’ FREE!

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BONUS ARTICLE: What’s in a Name?

Tomorrow is the last article in my Blog Tour, written exclusively for CaribDomain, don’t miss it!

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Help ME help YOU by ordering your signed copies of my Self-help books before Friday – you’ll get a FREE copy of my award-winning CD ‘Seeds of Love‘, and a free invite to my Book Launch taking place on Sunday 6th November!  Will you be one of the 200 people needed to help me reach my target?  Click on the image above! (Please wait a few moments for it to load).  You can also get a signed copy of ‘How to Get the Ring On Your Finger‘ (with contributions from over 30 brothers) for only £5.00 if ordered by Friday, get yours TODAY!

If you haven’t read my exclusive article ‘Finding Your Purpose‘, go HERE to read it now!

In your service,

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Visual & Spoken Word Artist|Author|Blogger|Events Host|Workshop Facilitator

Promoting LOVE through Creativity!

Artisan Impression people

P.S. Visit my Events Page for details of Events I’m taking part in leading up to my Book Launch! (I’m performing at the Black Cultural Archives this Wednesday!)

Help ME help YOU!

As the descendant of an enslaved African, I had been disconnected from my spiritual roots, displaced, and had no sense of Self-identity.  I had inherited a slave master’s name, while being DIS-inherited from the wealth of my Motherland.  The religion I had been indoctrinated into wasn’t serving me, but rather gave me an inferiority complex, with constant feelings of guilt and condemnation.  These feelings were preventing me from living the life of my dreams.

As I got older, I began to question what I’d been taught to believe.

In my Self-help novel ‘Journey of a Sister‘ I shared everything I’ve discovered since asking God for ‘the Truth!’ in 2007 – it tackles taboo topics in an entertaining, yet informative way. You are invited to join the main character on her transformational quest for ‘the Truth!’ about sex before marriage, the creative power of her thoughts, her African ancestry, and the history of the religion she had been indoctrinated into!

My Self-help book ‘How to Get the Ring On Your Finger’ has contributions from over 30 brothers, and looks at how our past affects how we relate to each other today.  It will help you identify any issues you have that might be preventing you from being able to maintain your relationship, so that you can heal before seeking to meet your match.  It then introduces the ‘DIY Arranged Marriage‘, guiding you through the whole dating process for the best chance of getting the ring on!

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You can get a FREE download of ‘How to Get the Ring On Your Finger‘ when you subscribe, or if you are an Amazon Prime member, you can borrow it from their lending library FREE!

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I’ve been giving away FREE downloads of the ‘Journey of a Sister‘ e-book series; the last free download is THIS WEEKEND! (Friday 12th to Sunday 14th August)

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If you missed the FREE downloads, they’re only 99p/$0.99 each – you can even start the journey by reading Year One FREE!

I have a burning desire to help my people break free from mental slavery, and to heal from the psychological trauma that has been passed down to us genetically.  I am especially passionate about helping my sisters develop a positive Self-identity, and to helping us build healthy, sustainable relationships.

Get your SIGNED paperbacks!

The First Edition of my novel was printed on-demand, so my artwork which illustrates it was printed black-and-white.  I aim to raise £4,790  by 1st September to print the Second Editionn bulk, enabling my artwork to be printed in FULL COLOUR – this means you’ll benefit from the COLOUR THERAPY in them while you read, healing your Self in more ways than one!   When you pre-order your SIGNED books you’ll also get a FREE  copy of the ‘Seeds of Love‘ CD – all 13 poems feature in the story!  Watch the video:

Visit my indiegogo campaign  to get SIGNED copies of ‘How to Get the Ring On Your Finger’ for only £5!  I’m sure you’ll find a perk to suit your budget; my campaign ends on 1st September, help me reach my goal, while helping your Self at the same time!

Check back here at the weekend to download Years 11 & 12 of ‘Journey of a Sister’ FREE!  The SEQUEL is exclusively in the paperback!  I’m taking part in a number of events from October onwards, where we will be discussing the topics raised in my Self-help books, see the Events page for more details!

In your service,

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Cezanne Taharqa (Author|Poet/Artist|Events Host|Workshop Facilitator|Mentor)

Artisan Impression – Promoting LOVE through Creativity!

Sponsor my Book Tour!

I’m in the process of organising Book Signing & Discussion Events both in the UK and abroad, where we will be discussing the topics raised in my Self-help books openly.  These are good opportunities to ask me any questions, and to meet like-minded people. If you would like to help me take the messages in my books far and wide, your contribution will help with travel, accommodation, venue hire, marketing and filming (for details visit the Events page).

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If you own a business, reap the benefits of being my sponsor which includes your company logo and website on my flyers and promotional material, as well at the opportunity to promote your business at my events!

Contact me using the form below:

Be Careful What You Wish For! Download Years Five & Six FREE THIS WEEKEND!

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Journey of a Sister features my artwork and poetry; I used my painting ‘My King’ to illustrate Year Five, and my painting ‘Black Orchid’ to illustrate Year 6 (Joint Chapter in the e-book series).  In Years 5, a series of fortunate events leads to Suzanne achieving her goal of publishing her first collection of poetry.  She learns how to order things from the universe and decides to have fun with it, ordering what she thought was her perfect man.  Read an extract from Year 5:

R U ‘The One’?

Whilst out performing one night, one of the organisers of the event told Suzanne about a poetry competition that was open for submissions.  They were looking for poets of African descent to include in an Anthology, and the overall winner would get their poetry collection published for free.  Suzanne eagerly took down the website details, and the following day, went online to get more information.   This was it!  This was just what she needed to get her book published; she was sure to win – she could just feel it in her guts!

 She called the number.  A baritone voice answered.

“Hello, Black Independent Publishers, Solomon speaking, how can I help you?”

“Oh hi Solomon, my name’s Suzanne; I was just calling to get some more information about the competition you’re running.”

“Okay…what would you like to know?”

“Well, I’ve been on the website and viewed the criteria, and, well I just wanted to find out what type of response you’ve had so far?”

 “We’re really pleased with the quality of submissions we’ve received so far – are you trying to weigh up your chances of winning?” he asked in an amused tone.

 “Well, kind of,” Suzanne confessed.

 “Well you’ve got just as good a chance of winning as anybody else – but you’ve got to be in it to win it, so the sooner you enter the better!  What type of poetry do you write?” he asked.

 “Love poetry mainly; anything to do with relationships.”

 “That always goes down well, I’d say go for it!  You can recite one for me now if you like, I love poetry,” Solomon requested.

 “Really?  Well most of my poems are quite long, so I’ll just give you a snippet of one, okay?”

“Okay…”

“This one’s called ‘Ode to My King Part 1’ and it’s written in the style of ancient Egyptian poetry, okay?”

“Sounds great so far…”

Suzanne began: “Beloved, what shall I compare you to?  Spiritually, you are like a tree standing tall and strong, with roots that go much deeper than our wrong: You remember the richness of our history before slavery, when we ruled as Kings and Queens, scientists and inventors, building empires!  And now, you bear the mark of our ancestors; you are strong both physically and mentally.  You have the Genius Gene; man, you don’t know how much you inspire me!  …Shall I stop there?”

 “No, no, keep going!”

 “Okay… Let me study YOU and get my degree from Mother Nature’s university, for there is nothing more I’d like to achieve:  Your eyes are like two pools, sparkling and watery, and in them I see the perfect reflection of…me.  Your nose resembles the ones cut off the great statues in Egypt; too defined for the white man’s mind, but I like it!”

 (Solomon laughs)

“Your lips are like two juicy mangoes, and your kisses, sweeter than honey.  Your voice is like a deep, dark river, carrying me away to ecstasy...I think I should stop there.”

 “Why, is it ex-rated?” Solomon asked, “I was just getting into that!”

“No, it’s not ex-rated – that comes in Part 2!”

“Well go on then, give me some more!” Solomon urged.

 Suzanne sighed.

 “Okay…Your neck is like a tower, strong and sturdy, and around it you wear a reminder of our history…”

  Solomon interrupted; “I’m wearing a reminder of our history!”

  “Are you? What is it?”

  “Some cowrie shells!”

  “Oh! Well you’ll like the next line then;

“Your teeth are like a string of cowrie shells, and when you smile, you light up my world!” (Solomon laughs again)

 “Sorry Solomon, but this poem is six pages long – I couldn’t possibly recite it all to you over the phone!” Suzanne concluded.

Watch the video I created for you to listen to this poem:

(Djembe drumming by Chi ‘Hair by Chi’ Bomani)

Download Years 5 & 6 FREE (this weekend)

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Are you an Amazon Prime member?  Borrow Years One to Six from their lending library FREE!

Don’t miss the FREE download of Year Seven next week, to get an email notification, ‘follow’ this blog!  Did you miss the free downloads of Years One to Four?  Never mind, they’re only 99p/$0.99 each!  Start the journey by reading an extract from Year One FREE! ← (click on the link)

In your service,

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Cezanne Taharqa (Author|Poet/Artist|Events Host|Workshop Facilitator|Mentor)

 Promoting LOVE through Creativity!


Artisan Impression people

Comments or queries?  Send me a message:

Finding Her Self – Download Year Four FREE TODAY!

In Year Four of ‘Journey of a Sister’, Suzanne learns a way to honour her feelings and deal with repressed emotions.  I also included a technique I learnt called ‘switching focus’; this is where you take your focus OFF the thing that is causing you stress, by staying in the Present, rather than projecting your thoughts to the past or the future – which is  what normally creates stress!

The ability to Switch Focus is not the same as meditation, although they both come under the banner of ‘Mindfulness’.  The difference is, you’re not aiming to create a space between your thoughts as with meditation, but to ‘change your mind’ in an instant.  This technique has helped me to avoid my thoughts spiraling out of control, and allowing fear-based thoughts to take root in my mind!  I used my painting ‘Blue Lotus’ to illustrate Year Four, and my poem-song ‘Equilibrium’ (listen below).

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Extract from Year Four:

Every time a ‘vain imagination’ popped up (one that was not in line with her desires) her job was to ‘cast it down’, and stop her mind from conjuring up images of things she didn’t want to happen.

On one occasion, she received a letter through the door from the bailiffs.  They were threatening to come and take away all her possessions if she didn’t pay the bill within the next 7 days.  As feelings of fear and anxiety overwhelmed her, Suzanne began to imagine men banging on her door and forcefully removing her goods.  She knew that she had to take control of these negative thoughts before they got out of hand.  If she continued with these vain imaginations, she could certainly create the event.

Suzanne sat in a chair, closed her eyes and quieted her mind.

Instead of projecting her thoughts into the future, she focused on her breathing; nothing else.  In the past her thoughts would have wandered all over the place but now she was able to slow them right down by bringing her full attention back to her breath.   As she inhaled deeply she noticed how her abdomen expanded.  Once her lungs had filled, she held her breath for a few moments, before exhaling slowly, fully and consciously.

After repeating this a few times, she no longer needed to focus so intently on her breathing; her mind had become a peaceful void free of thoughts.  Suddenly she opened her eyes as she received a flash of inspiration.  Grabbing her notepad and pen, intuition kicked in as she penned a poem:

Equilibrium

When the pressures of life get me down,

And the stresses of life make me frown

I’ve got to find a way to get my peace of mind

And create equilibrium.

In order for me to keep my sanity

I must find the balance between my mind, spirit and body

Let go of all the things causing strain on my brain

So I can keep my mental and emotional stability.

So I rise early with the morning sun

To give thanks for all the Lord has done

Take time out to meditate and pray before I start my day

When I focus on all the positive things in my life,

I realize I’m too blessed to be stressed

There are so many things for me to be grateful for!

So by taking a few minutes to switch focus away from

I put my Self in a positive vibration…

(acoustic guitar by Theo Calliste)

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Download Year Four FREE today!

If you’re an Amazon Prime member, you can borrow Years One to Four from their lending library!

Continue ‘the journey’ with me!

Haven’t started it yet?  Read an extract from Year One FREE!  ← (click on the link)

Download Years 5 & 6 FREE next weekend!

In Years 5 & 6 (Joint Chapter) I share how I learnt to trust my ‘in-tuition’ – the hard way! ‘Journey of a Sister’ is not my autobiography, but I’ve shared some of the lessons I’ve learnt along the way in story format,  don’t miss it!  To get next week’s FREE download in your inbox, ‘follow’ this blog!

In your service,

Signature

 

 

Cezanne Taharqa (Author|Poet/Artist|Events Host|Workshop Facilitator|Mentor)

 Promoting LOVE through Creativity!


Artisan Impression people

Send me a message using the form below:

Year Three: Mind…the Gap! (FREE DOWNLOAD)

For many years, I suffered with depression.  I went in and out of dark tunnels, searching for the glimpse of light at the end of each one.

I had constant self-defeating thoughts, hated the way I looked, and felt as if my life was pointless.  The birth of my two older ‘suns’ in 1992 and 1995 gave my life more meaning, but I still suffered from bouts of depression.  At times, it was so bad that I couldn’t even do simple things like open the curtains, or put the laundry in the washing machine.

Fortunately for me, I was not one to go running to the doctor’s for every little ailment, and when I did finally go, my G.P. housed an alternative homeopathic doctor who prescribed me a remedy called ‘chocolat’!

It did ease the symptoms, but the root cause of my issue was my THOUGHTS.  I didn’t know how to control the negative thoughts that were constantly bombarding my mind, causing me to have low self-esteem, to lack self-confidence, and to fail in life.

While I was a stay-at-home mum raising my suns, I put my Self through a series of Self-development programs, worked with Positive Affirmations to ‘re-program my mind’, and read lots of Self-development books.  Then in 2006, I was fortunate enough to be able to attend a weekend seminar with Anthony Robbins.  I was eager to learn something that would help me deal with my negative thoughts once and for all, and I did.   He said “DEPRESSION is just a FANCY NAME for NEGATIVE THINKING PATTERNS”.  I had never considered that before.  Anthony went on to explain that thoughts are like trains; if you have a thought, another like-thought will come after it, then another, and before you know it, you will have a whole series of thoughts following one after the other.  If these are positive thoughts, you’ll remain feeling happy in a state of bliss.  But if they are negative thoughts, they can lead to sadness, stress, anxiety, anger and ultimately, depression.

I had a paradigm shift that weekend.

In 2007, I was about to fall asleep one spring evening when the image for my painting ‘Self Love’ flashed into my mind:

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It was as if my subconscious mind was telling me I needed to learn how to meditate.  Not long after, I was introduced to ‘Inner Space’ in Covent Garden, where I started attending meditation classes.  I learned that our thoughts are like seeds, and our mind is the garden.  In order to keep the garden of our mind well cultivated, we have to learn how to ‘weed out’ the negative thought-weeds, and replace them with positive thought-seeds.  My painting ‘Self Love’ illustrates that by rooting all our thoughts in LOVE, we can remain in a positive state of bliss.

The colours that I intuitively used to paint ‘Self Love’ also healed me from the symptoms of SAD, a form of depression caused by lack of natural sunlight! (see my Art page for more details).  I used this painting to illustrate Year Three of my Self-help novel Journey of a Sister, and also on the front cover of my poetry collection Seeds of Love.

Here’s an extract from Year Three, which features my poem Fertile Soil:

Meditate to Create

Suzanne liked the metaphor of the garden; she had learned first-hand from her own back garden how long flowers took to grow, compared to the weeds which sprang up quickly!  It was the same with her mind; her job was to cultivate her positive thought-seeds so they could blossom into flowers, by nipping her negative thought-weeds in the bud before they could spring up and stunt the growth of her flowers.

When a negative thought-weed sprung up, instead of watering (dwelling on) it, and letting it grow into more negative thoughts, she began practicing uprooting it and replacing it with a positive thought-seed.   So if she had a thought which suggested “I’m not good at that”, she would immediately uproot it and replace it with “I am good at that!”.

Suzanne learnt that all thoughts are either rooted in Love or fear, so she began focusing on planting seeds of Love in the garden of her mind.   A positive thought was rooted in Love, and a negative thought was rooted in fear – there was no other place for them to come from.  Learning how to meditate helped Suzanne to control her thoughts, which in turn helped her control her feelings.

Thoughts Create Feelings

During a class, Suzanne learned that by focusing on her solar plexus or ‘sun centre’ (located at the back of her stomach) she could instantly tell if she was thinking positively.  Good thoughts created good feelings.  If she had good feelings, like butterflies, she would be radiating positive energy.  If she was feeling bad, she would radiate negative energy. Depending on how she was feeling, she would attract people, situations and opportunities on that same frequency.

Her thoughts were creating her feelings, but her feelings were the fuel which made what she was thinking about, saying, and acting on happen even faster.  So her emotions were the real attractor factor!

…She ran a hot bath, adding some sea salt and lavender essential oil.  As she relaxed her body and mind in the water, words came floating to her.  She reached for her notebook and pen lying on the floor beside the bath.  By now, she knew to always be ready for when those bolts of inspiration struck:

I am fertile soil!

When I plant Seeds of Love in the garden of my mind

They’re gonna blossom…

 

Think of every THOUGHT you have as a SEED

The thoughts you sow, you will reap;

Thoughts rooted in Love will grow into beautiful flowers

While thoughts rooted in fear

will grow into fast-growing weeds!

 

“Every day is a seed to your future happiness,

success and well-being, so plant the seeds TODAY

for the FUTURE you want to see BLOSSOM!” 

Just remember, you reap what you sow…

Acoustic Guitar: Theo Calliste

Needless to say, I no longer suffer from depression!

FREE DOWNLOAD!

Year Three is FREE to download TODAY!  Every Wednesday, I will be making a different ‘Year’ of Journey of a Sister FREE to download, leading up to the Book Launch!

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If you missed the free downloads of Years One & Two, download Year Three FREE, then download Years One & Two (they’re only 99p/$0.99 each!)  Read an extract from Year One FREE!

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If you’re an Amazon Prime member, you can borrow Years One to Three from their lending library!

Next week, I’ll be sharing a technique from Year Four which has helped me ‘switch focus’ to avoid stress – don’t miss it!  ‘Follow’ this blog to receive an email to let you know when Year Four is FREE to download!

Join me on ‘the journey’!

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Cezanne Taharqa (Author|Poet/Artist|Events Host|Workshop Facilitator|Mentor)

 Promoting LOVE through Creativity!


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Christianity or Churchianity?

On Sunday I went to church for the first time in about 7 years.

I’ve been invited in the past, but never felt led to go, but this time when my friend Margaret invited me to the launch of a new church, my inner guidance said ‘go’.  Funny, because when I arrived the pastor turned out to be my old pastor from 20+ years ago! At the time Lorna was co-pastoring with her husband Ben, but they had now split, and she was branching out on her own.  I remembered that they had a strong prophetic ministry, and hadn’t considered up until now that I might have started writing prophetic poems such as ‘Jesus Never Left You…’ from being under their ministry:

As soon as Lorna saw me she exclaimed “I was just thinking about you last week!”

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Middle: Pastor Lorna Right: Margaret

I thought it was a sign that this was the church I was to start going to, especially when Pastor Lorna’s mentor, Dr Sharon Stone, picked me out as the first person to ‘prophesy’ to.

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I must say, despite the fact that I did relate to the prophecy, I couldn’t help imagining Sharon with a scarf over her head sitting behind a crystal ball, or with a pack of tarot cards. I’ve had plenty of ‘readings’ done since leaving church, and the only real difference between her insight and what I was now used to, was that she began with “Thus saith the Lord…”

Everything she said was spot on, right down to me being estranged from my family, coming out of a ‘drought season’, and even referencing an old business plan that needed to be resurrected (my Christian poems and posters).  The best part was when she said ‘God was going to use me to bring about POSITIVE SELF IDENTITY TO OTHERS.’

A few days later I met up with Pastor Lorna over tea to ‘catch up’.  After I explained where I was on my journey she made it clear that for me to be part of her church, I needed to ‘align with God’.

I soon realized that going back to church would only mean getting back into the same dictorial situation, where the ‘pastors’ expect you to follow them without asking any questions.  I’m far past all that.

Many of my (now ex) Christian friends have assumed that because I haven’t been going to church, I have ‘backslidden’, as if you can only know God by going to church.  From my experience, to truly know God, you have to go within.

What is service?

Is it going to church every Sunday, or is it being of service?

A lot of shenanigans goes on in churches nowadays, which I have no intention of getting caught up in.  My intention is to offer my gifts and talents to the world, and in doing so, be of service.

As Charles said in Year One of my Self-help novel;

“…If I was going to go back to church, it would have to be based upon what I know, not on what I believe.”

“What do you mean?”  

“Well I would want to go to a church that met on a Saturday, not Sunday, that acknowledged the Feminine Aspect of God, and that called God by his name, Jehovah.  It would have to acknowledge that Jesus, or Yeshuah, looked more like me, not a caucasian, and instead of making everyone give 10% of what they earn – which is unscriptural by the way – some of the money collected would be shared with those members in need.”

Start the journey! (click on the image below to download Year One for only 99p/$0.99).

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Are you an Amazon Prime member?  Read Year One FREE!

Listen to another one of my prophetic poems “Call Me by My Name!”

In your service,

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Cezanne Taharqa (Author/Poet/Artist/Events Host/Workshop Facilitator)


Artisan Impression people

 Promoting LOVE through Creativity!

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