“Learning to re-connect with and nurture our inner child is one of the best gifts we can give ourselves in adulthood” ~ Cezanne
Join me at my Retreat Home in the Gambia for 7 days of nurturing your Inner Child!
Didn’t know you had one?
‘All children are artists, the problem is how to remain one when we grow up’ ~ Pablo Picasso
We were all naturally creative as children, but somewhere between childhood and adulthood some of us ‘lose it’.
Is your inner child crying out to be heard?
I will take you through the same processes I went through to unblock as a writer and artist for 15 years, based on the book I credit with helping me unblock, ‘The Artist’s Way’ by Julia Cameron! This is essentially a 7-day holiday, with 5 days of Self-nurturing workshops to nourish your inner child, so you can reconnect with your natural creativity. You will return home with something you created, and the tools to keep your creative juices flowing!
The workshops are completely flexible; the idea is for you to learn to ‘let go’ and let your inner child be free. All materials will be provided, and I will always be on hand to guide you through this process. I will also be giving you two easy exercises to do leading up to the holiday; your Morning Pages, and your weekly ‘Artist’s Dates’. These will help you get in touch with your inner child prior the Retreat!
As part of the ‘Nurture Your Inner Child’ Retreat, I will be teaching the benefits of Colour Therapy so you can choose the right colours for your own Self-healing (I healed myself from the symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder with Colour Therapy with the colours in my paintings). You will return home with something you can put on your wall, or turn into a gift for a loved one!
The ‘Nurture Your Inner Child‘ Retreat will held at my newly built 6 bed Retreat Home in Gunjur, which is 10 mins walk to the beach.
The total cost of the ‘Nurture Your Inner Child’ Retreat is only £499 per person based on two sharing (N.B. Flights must be booked separately). There are only 8 PLACES available on each Retreat to ensure you receive individual attention, so book early to avoid disappointment!
The cost of the Retreat includes:
▪Airport transfers ▪Accommodation ▪Breakfast & Dinner ▪5 Self nurturing workshops facilitated by Cezanne ▪All materials provided ▪Artist’s Date to feed your inner child images!
Secure your place with a £100 deposit and flexible monthly payments thereafter by emailing me: firstname.lastname@example.org or fill in the Contact Form below:
*Full payment must be made a month prior to travel*
This is a mixed holiday (men and women), you can also join me on The Self Love Retreat
Upon my return from nearly 4 months in the Gambia, I hosted an event in Tottenham, North London, where I shared my vision for a Retreat Home overlooking the sea, and a commUNITY Village, for those of us who wish to return to our Motherland. Here’s part of it:
While I was in the Gambia facilitating The Self❤Love Retreat (Dec to March), I came across some land which fulfilled a vision I’ve had for years, of having a Retreat Home overlooking the sea, with a VILLAGE nearby! Within a short space of time, I was taken to the Akala of the clan who own the land; they liked the idea of us building a village for returnees, and of us integrating with the locals; my idea of having a Retreat Home was to provide a safe space for the Black Woman to heal (not excluding the Black Man and child). I explained in my Presentation that she is the core of the family, and the family is the core of the commUNITY, so for our commUNITY to heal, the Black Woman MUST Heal!
During the process of “breaking them in”, our enslaved ancestors were subjected to a brutal form of brainwashing that also altered their DNA structure. This has been passed down from one generation to the next, so to fully comprehend the dysfunction within our community today, we need to get to the ROOT CAUSE of our issues, that is, we need to look at the CAUSE, not the effect, and the cause is buried deep in our subconscious minds.
In my Presentation, I explained that in the film ‘Get Out’, the ‘sunken place’ is his subconscious mind, and in ‘The Black Panther’, there are two scenes where they buried T’Challa and Killmonger in order for them to visit the ancestral plane, which was symbolic of them going into their subconscious.
Over the past year, I’ve been introduced to plants and herbs provided by Mother Nature that help to alter your state of consciousness, and connect you with the spirit world. I explained in my presentation, that while on a mushroom ‘trip’ last year, I got the message: ‘DNA REPAIR’. Our ancestral mothers are ready and on hand to help us heal, and some of the techniques that will be used are unconventional and frowned upon by modern medicine, yet these are things Mother Nature has provided for our healing. My work specifically centres around the Black Womban healing, because when she heals, our whole commUNITY will heal! Are you truly ready to heal?
Over the past 15 years I’ve been on my own Self-healing journey; this included working with Positive Affirmations to re-program my mind, forgiving those who I felt wronged me, un-indoctrinating my Self from religion, and learning to love myself unconditionally (this is an ongoing journey).
My Self-healing journey has been expressed through my books, art and poetry, yet I reached a point where I felt I couldn’t do anything more for myself – and I still wasn’t fully healed! I still felt held back in certain areas of my life, for example, I’m still not in a loving relationship with my soulmate, even though my work is centred around building sustainable Black relationships!
It was like peeling away layers of an onion; every time I unpeeled one layer (e.g. religion) there was something else I had to deal with underneath. The Positive Affirmations worked for some things, but not others. For instance, they worked really well to help me build confidence and self esteem, which helped me to unblock as a writer and artist, but there were other blocks that I just couldn’t seem to shift. I asked my Higher Self to reveal what I needed, which is when I came to the realization that some of the blocks were buried so deep in my subconscious, I couldn’t get to them on a conscious level; I had to go into an altered state of consciousness to reach them.
Meditation helped to quiet my mind and control my negative thinking patterns, which also helped me heal from depression. I focused on thinking positively and keeping myself in a ‘positive state of bliss’. Yet none of these things seemed to get to the ROOT CAUSE of my issues.
Then last year, I met a woman who put me in an altered state of consciousness (using weed oil), and while I was in a ‘trance’, it felt like I was receiving a spiritual download, which seemed to be affecting my past, present and future. On another occasion, I took mushrooms with this same young woman, and the message I got from the ‘trip’ was ‘DNA REPAIR’. Through my personal studies, I’ve come to learn that the past, present and future are simultaneous, not linear. If we don’t heal from the trauma of our past, it will keep coming back to haunt our present and future. We are POW-HER-FULL creators, especially womben, because we’re more emotional, and our emotions act like FUEL on our thoughts.
My work is to help the Black Womban to heal, because when she heals, our relationships heal, our families heal, and our families are what make up our commUNITY. I wrote this poem the morning after watching the film ‘Sankofa’, and dedicated it to those still suffering the psychological effects of the enslavement of our ancestors, handed down to us genetically through our DNA:
I’m a visionary; it’s my job to come up with the ideas and share them with my commUNITY, but it’s our COLLECTIVE job to bring the ideas to fruition! I’ve now found a lovely 6 bed house in Gunjur for us to rent until our own Retreat Home is built. I need to raise £10,000 by November for the rent and to furnish it, Make your contribution here.
I’m also fundraising to purchase land to build our own Retreat Home, And any surplus will go towards that project.
We’re also building a VILLAGE near the Retreat Home, so if you’ve been thinking about leaving the UK or USA and like the idea of living in a village commUNITY, join us on the Let’s Build a Village Retreat 20-29 November, or 17-24 December.
I showed some photos of the dome-shaped round homes we are thinking of building in the village, and Galactic Clyde (a builder and carpenter who also studies sacred geometry) explained the spiritual benefits of living in such homes instead of square ones:
There are 30 homes available to buy; at the Presentation 17 people expressed an interest in being part of the Village, 5 indicated that they are ready to pay their £3,000 deposit to secure their home, and 11 signed up to join us on the ‘Let’s Build a Village’ Retreat, 20-29th November 2018. You’ll have the opportunity to see the land, meet potential neighbours, and plan how our village will be laid out. If you’d like to be part of our village send me an message below.
(Profits from the Retreat Home will help to build and maintain the village)
Galactic Clyde also builds labyrinths, and he also explained the benefits of walking the labyrinth regularly; we also plan to build a labyrinth on the land, which will form part of our Retreats.
Galactic Clyde has built a labyrinth in a park in East London (Hackney Filter Beds), and we will be taking a walk on the labyrinth this Saturday 19th May between 2-6pm, if you’d like to join us, send me a message!
It takes a VILLAGE to raise a child, let’s do this for our Self, and the sake of future generations!
I’m returning to the Gambia on 22nd May, with part of the funds (hopefully!) to keep the process going, are you in? When I get back, I’ll organize another event (mid July) to share updates, you can also keep up-to-date via my Instagramand Facebook pages.
Just before I left the Gambia on the 12th March, some magical things began happening!
I was there to facilitate The Self Love Retreat, but the venues that I used weren’t 100% suitable. For years, I’ve imagined having my own Retreat Home overlooking the sea, and now that I was actually doing the Retreats, I realized I needed a Retreat Home of my own, where we could feel more comfortable.
While in the Gambia, I came across some land that was perfect for both the Retreat Home AND a Village; in 2015, I had a premonition that in 5 years time (2020), my people would be FLEEING the UK and USA, and that they would need somewhere to run TO, hence why we need to be building VILLAGES. My vision was beginning to manifest in real life!
On the way back from seeing the land, we passed a small Guest House, and a woman was sitting on the porch. She called out “Are you Cezanne?”
Bear in mind that we were in the middle of the bush; this woman recognized me from when she used to live in the UK, and we became acquainted. Because she and her husband hold high esteem within the village, and because one of her employees happens to be part of the clan who own the land, they are now helping me secure the land, and getting government approval to build on it! When I first saw the land, I was told that it was ‘TDA land’, meaning the government has reserved it as a Tourist Development Area. But in my spirit, I knew that it was land reserved for US returnees!
(Just beyond the trees in the distance is the beach, where the Retreat Home will be built, the Village will be on this part of the land)
It is with help from our ancestors that I have now been allocated 500 x 200 metres of this land, right by the sea, and I believe that when we ‘show and tell’ that we have made good use of this land, we will be able to get more! If my premonition is correct, we will need more than this piece that I’ve been allocated; you can see what’s happening to our youth, our men, our families, and our culture from living in Western society. If we truly wish to heal, we need to remove ourselves from the environment – YOU CANNOT CLEAN DISHES IN DIRTY WATER!
On Saturday 12th May between 2-4pm I’m holding an event in Tottenham, North London, to share my vision for Kai Ci Kurbi Healing Village. If you’ve been thinking about leaving the UK but don’t have a ‘Get Out’ plan, come and see if this might be for you. Not everyone will fit into the model for this particular village, which is why we need to be building VILLAGES. I’m building my tribe, you should be too! If you would like to attend, email me at email@example.com
If you are unable to attend, but would like to know more, still send me an email; the event will be filmed and put on Youtube, I’ll send you the link when it’s up!
Another magical thing that happened just before I left, was being taken to see this amazing tree in Senegal:
I lit a candle and poured libation to my ancestors, and thanked them for guidance and protection while I go through this process. When I came out from inside the tree, all the women from the village came to pray for me, it was POW-HER-FULL!
They gave me some of the soil from around the tree, and told me what to do with it. I know without a shadow of a doubt that I’m being guided to get this land to build our Retreat Home and Kai Ci Kurbi Healing Village. ‘Kai Ci Kurbi’ means ‘COME HOME’. Are you ready?
Join us on the next Self Love Retreat 25 May to 3rd June, or our mixed Retreat 21-30 November to see whether you will fit into Kai Ci Kurbi Healing Village – families welcome!
According to the Law of Nature, ‘you reap what you sow’. You can’t plant an apple seed and expect to harvest an orange.
If you want more LOVE, plant Seeds of Love; start by filling your Self with Love, so you will radiate love and become a LOVE MAGNET. Then spread the love you feel inside to others.
If you’re suffering from a Self Love Deficit (like I was) spend time alone, look at yourself in the mirror (make eye contact with yourself) and say “I LOVE YOU”. Do this a few times. Secondly, Pour water in a glass and speak into it “I LOVE YOU”, then drink it. We do this on The Self Love Retreat, you can also do it as a 30 Day Self Love Challenge and see what happens! (Let me know!)
If you want better/stronger RELATIONSHIPS do kind things for others; practice the principles ‘do unto others as you would have them to unto you’, and ‘love your neighbour as you love yourself‘. This includes:
Not gossiping about others behind their back
Helping others when you can
If you want better HEALTH, plant a health seed today; write a PLAN of how you intend to get fitter/healthier. This might include:
Eating healthier meals/eliminating junk food
Adding more fruits, veg, seeds and food provided by Mother Nature to your diet
Drinking at least a litre of water a day
Eliminating white sugar, flour and dairy products
Exercising more, e.g. doing stretches when you wake up in the morning, or walking for at least 20 minutes a day.
Getting adequate sleep
If you want more MONEY, then plant a money seed, and make sure you plant it in FERTILE SOIL!
Save 10% of your income (give to yourself first)
Give to good causes
Help others in need when you can
These are all good seeds to plant, which will blossom in the future. Again, the Law of Nature shows us that when you plant a seed today, it has to go through various stages of germination, budding, and growing before it reaches full bloom, or harvest. The Laws of Nature never fail! If you want more MONEY, today I’m giving you the opportunity to plant a money seed into FERTILE SOIL: Make a contribution to The Self Love Retreat Fund so I can offer subsidized places on my Retreats! This week, I teamed up with Dawn Mbaatay (Organization) to build a VILLAGE; they are building Phase One, Numbi Village, and we will be building Phase Two, which will include a Retreat Home for those needing to come for Self-healing, read my Vision Statement for > Kai Ci Kurbi Healing Village < (Kai Ci Kurbi means ‘Come Home‘).
As we were on our way to the beach from purchasing the land for Numbi Village, we came across this deserted government-owned land.
If you know me at all, I’m a visionary, and I make things happen! I’ve had this photo on my Vision Board for the past couple of years:
This is my vision of the view from our Retreat Home!
The man in blue, Ousman, says he owns the land, but it is ‘TDA’ which means the government has said it cannot be developed. However, if we build a water-hole, and approach the government with plans for how we plan to develop the land, they will give some to us. We are going to approach the government based on the fact that we are repatriates, and we need the land to build our village. But we need to pool our resources together to buy the land, and develop it!
My Vision Statement is being drawn up into a professional Proposal to be submitted to the Gambian government, for how we plan to develop the land. I live by the motto “Whatever the MIND can CONCEIVE, it can ACHIEVE – I can CREATE whatever I can IMAGINE!”
Are you part of my tribe?
I’m seeking just 50 people who align with my vision, to build Phase 2, Kai Ci Kurbi Village; this will involve investing to purchase the land (initially £150,000), and building the village. At the moment, the land is reserved by the government, but we were told by Ousman that if we build a waterhole and show the government that we can build, they will give us some of the land. If you would like to be part of this, send me a message: firstname.lastname@example.org
In the meantime, I’m planning on renting a Villa in the Gambia for two years to run the Retreats from, which will enable me to offer subsidized places on my retreats. People will also be able to rent it for their own holidays, which will go towards the building project. Make a contribution to The Self Love Retreat Fund – if you prefer to contribute using Paypal, use the email: email@example.com
“Every day is a SEED to your future Happiness, Success, and Well-being; plant the seeds TODAY for the FUTURE you want to see BLOSSOM!” ~ Cezanne
Watch my video-poem:
The Laws of Nature never fail! Depending on the seed you plant, will determine the harvest you receive – are you planting a FLOWER or a TREE?
I’m seeking to ‘build my tribe‘, if you align with my vision, Let’s Build a Village! Read my Vision Statement, and make a contribution to the Fund – don’t miss out! The names of all those who have contributed to the Fund will go on a list, to be able to receive subsidized rates for future Retreats.
If you’ve read my ARTicle ‘Use Your Subconscious Mind to Create the Life YOU Choose!‘ you would know that you can CREATE whatever you can IMAGINE, and that there’s a PROCESS.
For years, I’ve cultivated the idea of being able to work anywhere in the world, and now I’m doing it; I’ve been in the Gambia since November, facilitating The Self Love Retreat, writing, and also doing book editing jobs.
“Whatever the MIND can CONCEIVE, it can ACHIEVE – you can CREATE whatever you can IMAGINE!”
For years, I’ve also cultivated the idea (seed) of building a VILLAGE – I didn’t know HOW, I just put it out there. My thinking was that for our commUNITY to truly heal, we need to get back to the way our ancestors lived, in real communities. We grew and shared food with each other, helped each other raise our children (it takes a village to raise a child), the women were the backbone of the commUNITY, and our elders were given high status, as they had the wisdom and experience to pass down to the next generation. Children spent time with their grandparents, and benefited from their wisdom. Men and women knew their roles, and stayed within them; this created HARMONY.
During January I spent a lot of time on my own, in the Silence, tuning IN (it was during this time that I wrote my speech ‘Use Your Subconscious Mind to Create the Life YOU Choose!). Shortly after, I met brother Musa, who, with his wife Nailah and their commUNITY, are already in the process of building NumbiHealing Village in the Gambia. From speaking with him, I realized that our visions line up, and so I have now aligned myself with what they are doing, to build Phase 2. Last week, we had a monumental gathering of Gambians, African-Americans, and African-Caribbeans to see how we could work TOGETHER to build a VILLAGE! In attendance was a professional builder, surveyor, electrician and an architect, as well as locals, and people ready to invest, such as myself.
Brother Ra, an African-American who lived in Ghana for 10 years, has been in the Gambia for 7 months; his background is in hospitality, tourism and education. Having been involved in setting up similar projects in Ghana, and learning from their mistakes, he’s now looking to do something similar in the Gambia. He is a great asset to our project, be a part of it too!
Numbi Village is already fully funded and patronized. I’m looking for 50 like-minded people to work with me in building Phase 2, Kai Ci Kurbi Village (Kai Ci Kurbi means ‘come home’ in Wollof, one of the main languages spoken in the Gambia). Read my >> Vision Statement for Kai Ci Kurbi Healing Village <<
Those who were left on the continent did not escape the evils of colonialism, and in my opinion, have suffered just as much as we have psychologically, spiritually, and financially, while others benefit from the wealth of our Motherland. By pooling our resources TOGETHER, we can rebuild our infrastructures, and develop a do-for-self attitude, instead of thinking that we need to rely on others to help us heal and rebuild.
Those of us who are the descendants of enslaved Africans, who were stripped of our culture, names, language and spirituality, are slowly finding our way ‘back home’, which I now realize is a state of being. To facilitate this return to our roots, being in the sun, spending time in nature, eating food provided by Mother Nature, and spending time ‘going within’ is vital. This is why I’ve organised another Retreat for this November, this time for both women and men, where you’ll be able to see for yourself what we’re doing here, learn more about the vision, and get involved in Phase 2 of the ‘Build a Village’ project, ‘Kai Ci Kurbi’. It’s time to COME HOME! I predicted around 3 years ago that in 5 years time, our people are going to have to flee from the UK and USA, and that they’re going to need somewhere to go. This was the basis upon which I wanted to build a village, so that my people had somewhere to run TO.
Are you ‘coming home’?
Join me in the Gambia November 21-30 for a 10-day Retreat where you will be able to see the first building project, and get involved in Phase 2! The pilot project, Numbi Village is patronized by around 25 people. We are looking for 50 people to patronize Phase 2, Kai Ci Kurbi Village (more about this in my next post), to invest in the building project and be ready to move into the Village, (or to provide accommodation for renting.) The Retreat in November costs just £899 which includes transfers to/from the airport, 9 nights accommodation with breakfast, a visit to Numbi Village building project, a gathering to plan Phase 2 including locals, 3 Self-nurturing workshops with my Self (in place of The Self Love Retreat, optional). Khensu I-Em Hotep, author of the forthcoming book ‘Spirit-Osis (Spiritual Disorder), the ROOT CAUSE of All Modern Dis-eases‘, and founder of The Melanin Clinic will also be attending the Retreat, sharing important information to help you Self-heal. We will also have an Evening of Reasoning to discuss the topics raised in my Self-help novel ‘Journey of a Sister‘ which you’ll get FREE when you book to join us on the Retreat! (It will help you ‘innerstand’ my thinking behind rebuilding our commUNITY). An overnight trip to Senegal on safari, and a day trip to Kunta Kinte Island are optional extras. If you’re seriously thinking about getting involved in Phase 2, book your place early, as there are only 10 places on this trip; easy monthly payment plans available – pay a £100 deposit to secure your place, singles and couples welcome:
While we are in the building process, I plan to rent a Retreat home, which will be used to run the Retreats from, this would mean that you only have to pay for your flights and spending money! We can rent a 5 bedroom house for around £5,000 per year; make a contribution to The Self Love Retreat Fund to enable me to offer subsidized places on each Retreat; The Law of Nature states that if want to reap a harvest, you must sow a seed of that kind, so I’m giving you the opportunity to sow your money seed into fertile soil!
I’m back in London temporarily between March and May…
This is why it’s so important that you guard your subconscious mind, in fact the job of your conscious mind is to guard your subconscious mind. See, your subconscious mind is like a young child; it doesn’t think or reason for itself, it simply accepts any information given to it from your conscious mind, the (adult) gardener as facts. You can either plant your own seeds, or you can allow other people to plant seeds in your mind for you (this is generally what most people do). Your conscious mind takes IN-formation through what you see and what you hear, which determine the seeds that you plant. If this IN-formation is good, you’re going to feel good and plant positive thought-seeds. If the IN-formation’s not so good, you’re going to feel bad and plant negative thought-weeds in your subconscious mind. Now your emotions are the water which causes your thought-seeds to grow at a much faster rate. This is the easiest way I can explain this process, so let me repeat it again; your emotions water your thought-seeds and make them grow that much quicker. So for instance, if you allow your mind to be manipulated by the media, the news, and social media, your emotions will be all over the place. One minute you’ll be reading a meme that makes you think “Oh, that’s so beautiful, life is wonderful, the universe is for me, I can do anything!” and you feel positive, optimistic, and loving. Then the next minute you read or watch something that makes you think “Oh my god, how can this be happening in the world? That’s so wrong! Life is against me, I’m going to march to change it!” and you feel angry, frustrated, even depressed. So there you go; you’ve just planted two different thought-seeds in your subconscious mind; one positive, and one negative – just like your own garden; you plant a flower, and a weed will spring up right alongside it. That’s what I love about Mother Nature, she’s the greatest teacher; if you want to know anything about life, just look at nature! So as I was saying, you can plant seeds in your own mind, or you can allow others to plant the seeds for you. That’s why I stopped watching the news over 15 years ago – it just made me feel depressed! I spend very little time on social media because I just don’t know what’s going to pop up! I’m very careful about what I allow into my subconscious mind.
I can’t wait to get onto the role of the super-conscious mind, but first I want to make sure you understand – or innerstand – the roles of the conscious and sub-conscious minds.
So let me explain it again; your mind is the GARDEN, and your thoughts are the SEEDS. Your conscious mind is the gardener, and your subconscious mind is the FERTILE SOIL into which the seeds are planted. I first learnt this metaphor from the book ‘Think and Grow Rich’ by Napoleon Hill. I’ve been thinking about being rich for a very long time – I had to, in order to change my religious programming of being a poor, wretched sinner. Why do I want to be rich? So I can reach my full potential, and help others reach their full potential too; I want to be able to travel the world, and see all the beauty of Mother Nature; I want my three ‘suns’ to be able to travel too, so they can realize that there’s more to life than working a 9-5 job to pay bills. I want to be able to buy my house with cash, and I want to be able to inspire others to live their dreams too. So what seeds are you planting in your subconscious mind? All thoughts are either rooted in LOVE or FEAR. Those are the only two places that they can come from. The root of all hateful thoughts is fear, so fear is the opposite of love, not hate.
If you look at my painting ‘Self Love‘, you’ll see that her thoughts are rooted in LOVE:
Her mind is the garden, and it’s growing beautiful flowers – not a weed in sight! You can’t see the root of her thoughts, because they’re buried underground, in her subconscious. But you can see the results of her subconscious thoughts, the beautiful flowers.
So how do you know what your subconscious thoughts are? Now this is where it begins to get interesting (if it wasn’t already!)…
In Part 3, I’ll show you how to get to the ROOT CAUSE of any issues you may be facing, and how you can begin the process of transforming your life for GOOD! Click here to read it!
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Have you ever heard the saying that we only use 5% or 10% maximum of our brain power? Do you believe it? Well it’s not true, it’s that consciously we only use up to 10% – the rest is the domain of our sub-conscious mind.
So how did I, Cezanne, a simple Artist, Poetess and Author come to learn about the power of our subconscious mind?
I stumbled upon this information because I had to figure out what was going on in my OWN mind. I mean, I was multi-talented, but was failing at everything I put my hands to; I just seemed to keep sabotaging my success in my career, relationships, family, money – my whole life was a mess! So I needed to study the mind in order to fix mine, and I had no idea that it would take me on such a beautiful journey, which I’m going to take YOU on now…
So let me start by explaining what the sub-conscious mind is, and how it relates to the conscious mind, and the super-conscious mind. Are you ready? Okay, use your imagination to picture an iceberg…there are two parts to this iceberg; the smaller part is above sea level; however the majority of the iceberg is underwater. The part you can see above water represents your conscious mind, and the majority of the iceberg which is underwater represents your sub-conscious mind. The word sub relates to being ‘under’, like submerged, submarine and sub-conscious. Therefore your sub-conscious is the part of your mind that is ‘under’ – it’s unseen. Your conscious mind is on the surface, that’s the part of your mind that you and everyone else relates to. But your subconscious mind is the bigger part of the iceberg – the other 90%. See?
Another metaphor I like to use when referring to the subconscious mind is of it being underground; your thoughts are the seeds, your conscious mind is the gardener planting the seeds, and your subconscious mind is the fertile soil that the seeds are planted into. My painting ‘Black Orchid’ illustrates this perfectly:
The black background represents the dark soil of the subconscious mind. Her thought-seeds are being planted into the fertile soil, which then goes through various stages of germination and budding, until eventually it reaches full bloom. She looks happy, so she must be planting positive thought-seeds in the garden of her mind. The affirmation for this painting is “I am blossoming!” which also means “I am prospering!”
Now here’s the catch; whether your thoughts are POSITIVE or NEGATIVE, they still go through this same process. So are you planting positive thought-seeds, or negative thought-weeds in the garden of your mind?
You can choose whether to grow flowers, or to grow weeds, or like most gardens, they can both grow side by side. Your job as the gardener is to consciously uproot negative thought-weeds and replace them with positive thought-seeds, in order to keep the garden of your mind well cultivated. Because whatever’s growing in your subconscious mind is going to blossom at some point, for all around you to see…
Watch my video-poem ‘Fertile Soil‘ to get a better ‘inner-standing’ of this process, which I wrote and recorded in 2009 when I was learning how to uproot my negative thought-weeds and replace them with positive thought-seeds:
In Part Two, I’ll explain why it’s important to guard your subconscious mind, and how to guard your subconscious mind, click here to read it!
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My first Self Love Retreat ended last Saturday, and I’m now thinking about how I can make it even better! Firstly, the three ladies who joined me commented that it went far too quickly; I personally arrived two weeks ahead of the Retreat in order to unwind and de-stress, and while I had intended for us to have plenty of time to do that, we were trying to cram so much into the week!
We started off with a Pamper Day at the Kairaba Hotel in Kotu, where we had a full body massage, facial, manicure and pedicure.
I purposefully kept the numbers for the first Retreat small because The Healthy Ways Guest House (where we were staying with Mama Naasira and Dr Joe Bledsoe) only holds up to 6 people. Their Spicy Tasty Vegan Cuisine meals played a big part in the healing aspect of the Retreat.
The aim of The Self Love Retreat is to nurture your Self from the INSIDE, OUT. The Pamper Day was for our outer self, while the Self-nurturing workshops were for our inner Self. The first workshop was entitled “Who Am I?” which questioned whether we are the things we do, what we have, or what we project to the outside world. By the end of the workshop, we had developed personalized Positive Affirmations to help re-define ourselves, and speak it into being. In Part Two, ‘Who I AM!’ (the following day), we recorded the affirmations to music. This is now a tool we can use to play just before we go to sleep, to help re-program our subconscious mind. (It’s our subconscious programming that we’re running on most of the time, not our conscious thoughts).
“The Loving Me workshop gave me a lot of food for thought for reflection” ~ Deanne
I’ve been working with Positive Affirmations for about 15 years, which has brought me from having a ‘Self Love Deficit’ with very low self-esteem, lacking self-confidence, and being a blocked writer and artist for over 20 years, to writing and performing poetry, writing books, painting, and now organizing the The Self Love Retreat. I’m simply sharing some of the techniques that have helped me raised my levels of confidence and Self-esteem, helped me unblock as a writer and artist, and to push myself out of my comfort zone to achieve more. The day before the Retreat has due to start I was writing my journal and the first thing I wrote was “Who am I to organize The Self Love Retreat? What do I know about Self Love?” This was my critical voice talking, and my old programming of not being ‘good enough’ was trying to creep back in! I had to silence it with Positive Affirmations about Who I Am. In the past, I would have succumbed to those voices, and crawled back into the dark cavity in the corner of my mind. But no, I’m here to make a difference, and in doing so, help others to transform their own lives too!
In another workshop, I shared some research conducted by Dr Masaru Emoto, about the effect our thoughts and words have on water, and because we are made up of 70% water, how pow-HER-full our words really are:
We then stuck “I LOVE YOU” onto a glass of water, and focused our thoughts and intentions into the water, before drinking it – try it! We also looked into a mirror and said “I LOVE YOU” to ourselves. This can feel awkward at first, but the more you do it, the easier it will feel.
We also wrote Love Letters (or poems) to our Self based on the Affirmations we developed, and used them to make our Self a card, which we can now refer back to whenever we need a pick-me-up:
When you fill your Self with Love, you can then give of your overflow, and radiate the love you feel for your Self – you will then attract that love back to your Self!
Self Love 30 Day Challenge!
Do these daily rituals to develop Self Love, and see what happens:
Close your eyes and go deep within (or look in the mirror) and say repeatedly “I love You!”
Pour water in a cup, and say “I love you” into the water before drinking it
If you did the 30 Day Challenge, email me your results: firstname.lastname@example.org
Aside from the 5 Self-nurturing workshops, we also enjoyed some Gambian nightlife, and went clubbing two of the nights! I’m not a clubbing person, but I loved the vibe and the Afrobeats!
I had these dresses made especially for the Colour Therapy workshop, which was also meant to incorporate dance, but we ran out of time! I explained how different colours affect the mood and emotions, and how wearing colourful clothes can make you (and others) FEEL. Try it! Incorporating more colour in your life especially during the dark, winter months will help lift your mood and emotions. (For more information on how I healed myself from Seasonal Affective Disorder using Colour Therapy, visit my Artpage).
We didn’t spend enough time on the beach, but we enjoyed early-morning yoga:
I also organized a Day Trip to Kunta Kinte Island, which took us about 3 hours to get to, including two river crossings! We were taken to the original place Kunta Kinte lived (not where they take tourists). On the long journey there, we had to take a ferry and a small boat. Someone had sent me a photo of a boat owned by a sister named Aminatta, encouraging us to use her (in the yellow skirt), but when we got to the island and I found her, the boat was out of action because it needed repairs to the value of around £150:
I told her I would help raise the money and get it to her as quickly as possible, you can send her a gift towards her boat repair using my Gofundme (put ‘BOAT’ as a reference) and I’ll make sure she gets it ( we’ve raised £45 so far).
“I had an amazing time on The Self Love Retreat – I recommend to everyone! I feel enlightened, refreshed, healthier and positive. I’ve learned many techniques to benefit me going forward. Met so many great people who I intend to keep in contact with. We made so many memories, I really wanted to stay longer! So glad I went and Cezanne is the hostess with the mostest, so inspirational, love her! I will defo do another retreat with you. I loved Gambia too, will go back”
Based on the feedback I received, I’ve decided to extend The Self Love Retreat in November to 10Days so you can relax and unwind for the first 3 days before the workshops start! The cost for the The Self Love Retreat is just £899 (Flights must be booked separately). If you can only come for 7 days, the price of accommodation will be deducted.
We will be staying at Ocean Villa Heights, a lovely hotel in Bufurt with swimming pool, internet, restaurant, and spa facilities, and it’s just a few minutes walk to the beach! To book, go HERE (or send me an email to email@example.com pay by bank transfer)
Support a Sista!
I set up a Gofundmecampaign in order to be able to offer subsidized places on the Retreat, if you’re unable to attend yourself, but would like to help your sisters on their Self-healing journey, please make a contribution to the Fund!
If you would like to be considered for a place, 1) make a donation to the fund, 2) email me: firstname.lastname@example.org explaining why you need it.
More Retreat dates will be added when destinations have been chosen (I’m also looking at Grenada, Jamaica, or Dominica)
Singles & Couples Welcome!
Whether you’re single, or would like to come with your partner, The Self Love Retreatis for YOU! The techniques will help you in your own personal development, which will no doubt impact your relationship. If you have any questions, or would like to book, email me: email@example.com
I’ve also organized the Nurture Your Inner Child Retreat in November, where I will take you through the same processes I went through to unblock as a writer and artist, all materials will be provided! If you’re interested in joining me on any of these Retreats, email me: firstname.lastname@example.org
To keep up-to-date with me daily acivities, and for more pics and videos follow me on instagram!
I’m now in the Gambia preparing for the women who will be joining me on The Self Love Retreat, a week of nurturing yourself from the inside, out!
There are still two places left for the Retreat dates 17-23 December, and a few places available on 3-9 January (date changed), 17-23 February and 3-9 March, join us if you can!
Getting to the Gambia is easy:
Flights are cheap!
You don’t need a visa if you’re travelling from the UK (we would love you to join us from anywhere else in the world!)
So far, I’ve not seen much difference in the culture between Gambia compared to Ghana, and I’ve yet to connect with many of the ex-pats who live here (people who have moved here from the UK and USA).
Last night I attended Gambia Fashion Weekend, and met up with Shakina from the UK who now lives here, and another sister Anna, who I also know from the UK. I also met a brother named Adam who is on holiday from Manchester, and I bumped into another brother who happens to live not far from me in Croydon!
Me and Shakina at Gambia Fashion Weekend last night
Apparently there are lots of opportunities to build, grow and develop in the Gambia, and I’ll be checking it all out and sharing the info with you! Shakina has moved here from London and now runs her business in Gambia! She uses the same Adinkra symbol for her business as I’ve used in ‘Journey of a Sister‘, the symbol for ‘Transformation!’
I gave myself a 5 year ‘get out plan’ (to move from the UK), and I have 3 years left, so providing I like it here I’ll be laying some roots! My ultimate goal is to build a VILLAGE with homes, schools, farmland where we can grow our own produce, businesses (making things that we can send back to the UK and USA to sell), and which is totally self-sufficient e.g. our own solar power and water supply. I see that in a few years time, my people will have to flee the USA and UK, and they’re going to need somewhere to go!
When God gives you a vision, provision will also be made. Meeting Mama Naasira Ageela and Dr Gregory Joe Bledsoe in London last year was part of this Master Plan. I instantly clicked with them, and we kept in contact when they left London and came to the Gambia. They are an African American couple, who are authors of the Amazon Bestseller ‘Spicy Tasty Vegan Cuisine’. We spoke regularly on the phone, and seemed to have lots of similar ideas in terms of how we wanted to help our community to heal. I shared my vision of building a village with them, and they were in accordance with the idea, so we decided to work together. This is our long term plan, but for now, we are working together to help our people to heal. They specialize in the food side of things, while I work with healing the mind. I’m not a psychologist but I studied how the mind works, in order to heal my own mind (I’ll tell you more about this on the Retreat, or read my Self-help novel ‘Journey of a Sister’).
People always say to me “Cezanne, you’re such an inspiration, when you say you’re going to do something, you do it!” But I can tell you, none of this has been easy. But when you set your mind to do something, the universe somehow conspires to help you make it happen. For instance, my goal was to spend every winter ‘somewhere warm’. I mean, why be in cold, grey England when you can jump on a plane and within a few hours, be somewhere warm? Once I set that intention, the ideas came to make it happen. The Self Love Retreat is the result of my thoughts manifested; not only do I get to enjoy being in a warm climate, I’m also helping others at the same time!
One of my mottos is;
“As I heal myself, I heal others”
The other is;
“The Black Woman MUST Heal!”
The Self Love Retreatwas born out of my own need to heal myself. I’m not coming from a standpoint of “You need to be like me”, but more of “We’re all in this together”. The reason why the Black Woman MUST heal, is because she has always been the core of the family, and the family is the core of the commUNITY. If we want our commUNITY to heal, she must heal first. I began to innerstand this while studying our history, and learning how the Black Family was broken down through the process of slavery and colonialism. For the sake of our future generations, something radical must be done, and it starts with the food we eat, what we watch and listen to, how we raise our children, and how we treat each other, starting with our Self. Hence, The Self Love Retreat (and Healing Village)!
HelpUs Offer Subsidized Places on The Self Love Retreat
Just like my vision for The Healing Village, I know that not all the women who need to come on the Retreat will be able to afford it, which is why I set up the GoFundMe Campaign. I set it up on my birthday on November 5th, and so far, no donations have been received (partly because I’ve been so busy preparing to come to the Gambia, that I haven’t been pushing it!). If you would like to support two women to come on each Retreat, please make a donation here. Getting the first contribution is the hard part; most fund organisers advise you make the first donation yourself; it’s human nature that once people see others donating, they will too, so are you a leader or a follower? Let’s see! If you would like to come but need help with finances, sow a money seed! I strongly believe in sowing money seeds; if you want more of something, you have to sow a seed of that kind. Mother Nature teaches us that we cannot sow an apple seed and expect an orange.The Self Love Retreat is fertile soil!
How will the women be chosen?
Send me an email email@example.com explaining your circumstances, and how much financial support you need (flight/accommodation £200/workshops £500). Myself and Mama Naasira will choose from the submissions received for the subsidized places. (We aim to raise £3,000 to provide two free places on each Retreat).
Admittedly, I’ve not been out much since I arrived, apart from yoga on the beach (check Facebook to watch my FB live video!) and the fashion show last night; I didn’t get to take many photos because my battery died, but there will be lots more to report on; in my next blog post I’ll be showing you around the Healthy Ways Guest House and interviewing the Bledsoes, and also sharing more about what we’ll be doing on The Self Love Retreat, in the meantime, visit the page, and if it feels right, do it!
Join me for the Art Exhibition Launch and Taster Workshop @ Katakata!
The last 3 paintings from my collection ‘Nature’s Art’ will be in a joint exhibition at Katakata, a lovely vegan restaurant and art space on Brixton Hill! ‘Self Love’, ‘Blue Lotus’ and ‘Black Orchid’ will be on sale, and you’ll also be able to get a set of 9 Prints from the collection! (Framed prints can also be ordered)
‘Self Love’ 24″ x 30″ oil on canvas £350
(the butterfly was stuck on and is not included)
‘Blue Lotus’ 48″ x 38″ oil on canvas £750
Black Orchid 48″ x 38″ oil on canvas £450
Join us for the Open Evening on Thursday 2nd November 6-10pm, tickets are FREE with drinks and canapes, but booking is essential, book your free ticket here!
Self Love Retreat Taster Workshop @ Katakata!
On Sunday 5th November, join me at Katakata from 2-5pm in a Taster Workshop for The Self Love Retreat! (Gambia) I’ll be giving you tasters of some of the workshops we’ll be doing on the Retreat, including Colour Therapy, where I explain how I healed myself from Seasonal Affective Disorder (a form of depression caused by lack of natural sunlight) using the colours in my paintings, and showing you how you can use colours to lift your mood and emotions! It’s also my birthday that day, so come and celebrate with me! Tickets are just £15 which includes a delicious vegan lunch, and signed copy of my novel ‘Journey of a Sister’! (<< read the reviews) Click on the flyer below for more info about The Self Love Retreat:
Get a FREE personally signed copy of my Self-help novel ‘Journey of a Sister‘ when you book your ticket for The Self Love Retreat Taster Workshop! It features my artwork in full colour, so you’ll be healing yourself in more ways than one as you read! If you’re unable to attend you can still order my book below:
Journey of a Sister Limited Edition paperback
Journey of a Sister features Cezanne’s artwork & poetry with FREE postage (UK only)
I look forward to seeing you at one or both of them!