Personal Year Reflection

I celebrated my 54th birthday on Tuesday, and I always use this time of year to reflect upon my past year’s achievements.

As you may know, I discharged myself from Bethlem Royal Hospital on the 7th January after spending a month on a psychiatric ward; I was recovering from the latest psychic attack from my ex partner, the father of my youngest son. This wasn’t the first attack on my life, but this time, it looked as if I was the culprit.

I had plenty of time to THINK whilst on the ward, as I’d discarded my phone and laptop in the ‘madness’. How did my life get to this point? I’d spent years studying how the mind works in order to fix my own; I’d learned about the power of the subconscious mind and had set about re-programming mine, after discovering I’d been programmed for failure during my ‘imprint period’ (0-7 years old).

As a result of all my internal work, I unblocked as a Writer and Artist, healed myself from Seasonal Affective Disorder (a form of depression caused by lack of natural sunlight), and had written a new script for what I wanted my life to look like in the future. I followed the self-development programs I put myself on religiously; I ‘Awakened the Giant Within’ thanks to Anthony Robbins, studied books such as ‘The Magic of Thinking Big’ ( which helped me to think beyond what I thought I was capable of) ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway (helped me to overcome my fear of performing and putting my creations out there publicly), ‘The Master Key System’ (helped me develop my Creative Visualization faculty), and ‘The Artist’s Way’ (the book I credit with helping me unblock as a Writer and Artist). I thought I had all the tools I needed to be successful.

I’ve always been ambitious and willing to work hard for what I want out of life. I also aimed to fulfil my soul purpose, which God had told to me in 1998 is to ‘Promote LOVE through Creativity‘. I had started doing this in the year 2000 with the ‘Love Inspires…‘ project (poetry workshops, co-ordinating a compilation CD of 10 BME poets, and a Valentine’s event where we explored the true meaning of the word ‘Love’ through poetry, music, dance, drama and comedy). I easily had over 200 people attend each event, which I organized for 3 years consecutively; my plan was to build it bigger and better each year, so that people automatically thought of attending my event ‘Love Inspires…’ for their Valentine’s date.

At the time I was living in a brand new house that God had blessed me with, drove my own car which I’d bought with cash, and was doing alright for myself. Considering all my personal development, things should’ve got better for me, not worse.

In the year 2000 I set an intention of buying my own house with cash, meet my soulmate, and set up a successful business that my two young sons would be able to work in when they grew up. I never intended for them to have to beg no white man for a j-o-b.

So how did I go from that, to ending up homeless and struggling to make money from my books, art and poetry – and worst still, ending up on a psychiatric ward for the first time in my life? Yes, I’d suffered from depression in the past, and even had a couple of mental breakdowns, yet I’d never been institutionalised because of it, nor taken any anti-depressants, preferring to let my mind heal naturally.

I stopped suffering from depression in 2006, after attending an Anthony Robbins weekend seminar. He said something that caused me to have a paradigm shift, he said “Depression is just a fancy name for negative thinking patterns.” He showed us how to ‘nip those negative thoughts in the bud’, and soon after, I started attending meditation classes to learn how to control my thought patterns. I never suffered from depression again.

Yet despite my new way of thinking, my personal life was still taking a nose-dive. I lost my home again after a severe psychic attack, which also caused me to sign my youngest son over to his (bisexual) father for full parental responsibility. He made sure I wouldn’t be able to take him back this time by using psychic attacks and black magic to keep me homeless and destitute. Despite this, I still continued with my meditation and didn’t allow my circumstances to dictate my mindset, which was documented through my poetry and art:

I think considering everything I’ve been through, I’m doing pretty well! 😅

I had plenty of time to think about my life whilst in hospital; where did everything start to go wrong? Why had I ended up worse off than when I was even suffering from depression? Why had all the self-development I’d done failed to improve my life materially? As a result of all the inner work I’d done, I’d unblocked as an artist and writer, painted 11 paintings, written my first novel (titled ‘Single, Spiritual…AND Sexual!‘) another Self-help book titled ‘How to Get the Ring On Your Finger‘ (over 30 brothers contributed to it). I’d also written and recorded over 30 poems, and published my first collection of poems, titled ‘Seeds of Love’ which won me the title ‘International Artist of the Year’ in the Spokenword Billboard Awards (USA) in 2014. (All 13 poems feature in the Second Edition of my novel, titled ‘Journey of a Sister’)

I received many beautiful messages from people who had read my books, listened to my poetry, or bought my art prints, telling me how my work had really helped them on their journey, but there seemed to be some sort of invisible block on my finances. If everything had gone according to my plans, I would have bought my home and set up a successful business that my sons could fall back on, but instead, we were all struggling financially.

It was only in 2014 after asking God to reveal what was going on, that I found a book in my son’s father’s possession on how to psychically attack someone. It was an answer to my prayer, but it didn’t prevent the latest attack which almost made me take my own life. Two years prior to this attack, I had been attacked with another form of technology, which had totally shut down my ability

Since leaving hospital in January, I turned my novel into a film script, wrote two ebooks, and set up a FREE 5 Day Soul Purpose Discovery Challenge to help me attract my Tribe, while helping others get on the path to discovering and fulfilling their true purpose in life.

Why do I bother?

I’ve reached a point on my journey where I’m standing at a crossroads with my hands in the air, thinking “where do I go from here?!” 🤷🏾‍♀️

The products I created were a creative expression of the inner work I was doing. I started by channelling beautiful ‘messages from God’, such as “Look to Me!”, “Call Me By My Name!” and ‘Jesus Never Left You…’ When I first started in business I was a Christian, and despite my weakness of ‘sexual sin’ I was still building an intimate relationship with my Creator, right in the home He had blessed me with. I used to think of God as my Spiritual Father which worked well for me as I didn’t have a father I could go to when I needed to talk, nor could I go to my mother. I used to look forward to spending time His presence; it didn’t occur to me that I had something special going on, I thought everyone could talk to God like this! I would sometimes find myself crying as I could feel God’s presence surrounding me in my bedroom. I started ‘channelling’ in the year 2000. In 2001 I found a ‘letter to God’ on my laptop, but I had no recollection of writing it. I knew I’d written it, but didn’t know when. It was so well articulated, so I decided to record it and upload it to my Myspace. (You can listen to it on the Books page)

The year 2001 was very significant for me; I also met my Twin Soul/Twin Flame. It was so profound, that I wrote how we met into my novel! I didn’t realize he too had felt the experience of being caught in a time warp until I started writing my novel eight years later. When we first met the crowded room became silent, and everything around us became a blur. Time stood still. I’m sure it caused a glitch in the matrix, because shortly after, my youngest son’s father was ‘sent’. I now know he’s a government agent.

What’s so special about me, that an agent would have been assigned to me, you may ask? Since I was young, I’ve always been ‘different’. Firstly, in 2001 I started channelling beautiful ‘Love poems’ directly from Source, which is LOVE. Plus I had started fulfilling my Soul Purpose of ‘Promoting LOVE through Creativity!‘ Thirdly, I had just met my Twin Soul; the purpose of Twin Souls meeting is to help raise the Collective Consciousness. I didn’t know any of this back then, but when I was on the psychiatric ward for a month with no phone or laptop I had plenty of time to think, and get to the root cause of my issues.

If you were to watch the film ‘The Matrix’ again, think of it as being factually based; there are many ‘agent Smith’s’ in our society, working on ‘black ops’.

A few years ago (2016), after practicing Postive Thinking for 8 years solid, learning how to meditate to control my negative thinking patterns, working with Positive Affirmations etc. I asked God “What is going on?” because my life was worse than when I started out! It was as if He said “Ok, now you’re ready for the rest of the stuff…”

I began learning about Mind Control, MK Ultra, and even discovered that my youngest son’s father had been psychically attacking me since I met him! A psychic attack is when someone plants a suggestion in your subconscious mind while you’re asleep, so when you wake up, you think it’s your idea. (To innerstand this concept, watch the film ‘Inception’). I’m sure you’re aware that most of what you watch in Hollywood films is based on facts, and that the ‘powers that be’ (not) created the World Wide Web 🕸 in order to ‘trap’ our thoughts and mind control the world population? Watch the film ‘The Matrix’ again.

So people like me are a threat to the establishment; for one, my soul purpose is to spread LOVE through CREATIVITY, the two things they try to suppress. (The opposite of Love is FEAR, which is what they prefer to spread). Secondly, I’m enlightening people through my work, and showing them how to create their own little ‘heaven on earth’ rather than waiting until they die. (The fact that I haven’t been able to do it doesn’t mean others can’t). Thirdly, as a Twin Soul, I have the power to raise the Collective Consciousness, which I’ve been doing through my books, art and poetry.

When I decided to write a novel, my intention was to write a bestseller; I channelled 46,000 words in 3 months, simply by writing from 4-6am each day. Sometimes I would wake up and it was as if I was watching a movie, all I had to do was capture the emotions of what I was seeing. When I published the book it started selling like hotcakes because of the title, the painting I used on the front cover, and the content:

Shortly after publishing my first book in 2010 I lost my home due to an attack on my mind – on this occasion they used voice-to-skull technology because I distinctly heard a voice while I was consciously awake say “Don’t pay your rent”. Now you might think why did that stop me from paying my rent, didn’t I know I would lose my home? But when you’re under mental attack, it seems rational at the time. Bear in mind that I left home at 23 and never lost my home until this man came into my life at age 35. I suffered from severe Postnatal depression after the birth of my second son when I was 29/30 (1995-96) and still didn’t lose my home. This was NOT depression.

Since then, I’ve lost my home 3 times, and not had a home of my own for over 3 years. I was forced to move into my ex’s house after losing my secure tenancy in 2003, and have been unstable ever since, however that hasn’t stopped me from working on myself, writing books, doing my paintings, and writing/recording my poetry. I’m not a victim, I’m just telling you as it is.

When I met my son’s father in 2001 he was masquerading as a Business Mentor (I was just starting out in business). He had a number of businesses, two of which were First Call Housing, and ‘Power Psyche’. I’m not sure what the second one was about, but I do know he’s a Master NLP practitioner, although he doesn’t disclose this publicly. It’s more for his own personal benefit, although I’ve seen him use it on my godson who was petrified of cats, but after 5 minutes with my son’s father, he was picking up my son’s cat and stroking it. I’ve also seen him use NLP on the cat twice; once when the cat wouldn’t keep quiet so I kept throwing it in the garden so I could meditate (he took it aside for 10 mins and it never made the noise again. Two weeks later I asked him what ‘mind thing’ he’d done on the cat and he just laughed and said it would wear off soon (it never made that noise again).See, I was in a 1 Personal Year (according to Numerology) which means anything started in a 1 Personal Year will set the foundation for the next 8 years, as the cycle goes from 1-9, then back to one again.

As soon as I got out of hospital I turned my book into a film script, something I’d been meaning to do for years. I also revised my novel to match the film script, and it’s even better than it was before – I included my poem “I Need a MAN!” in Year One (👈🏾 this video went viral in 2015!)

So it’s been a good year, and I’m looking forward to seeing what the next year will bring. My next step is to turn my novel into a film, which will enable me to reach many more people with the ancestral messages in the story. Download Year One of the revised novel, now titled ‘MELANIN TWINS’ FREE, and if you want to read the rest, order the full e-book (Years 1-13) using the link at the end of Year One:

I also set up the Soul Purpose Tribe for anyone seeking to DISCOVER and FULFIL their true purpose in life. Invitation is only via this website or my e-books, as I prefer Tribe members to be familiar with my work/life’s purpose.

Last week was ‘Halloween’, and I spent three days taking part in a ‘Halo Festival’. I learned that October the 31st is when the veil between this physical world and the unseen realm is at its thinnest, therefore it’s the best time to contact the dead. (This is why they wear costumes with bones on them).

I enjoyed learning how to set up an altar to my ancestors, and how to contact them. I channelled 46,000 words when I was writing my novel, and wondered where it was coming from. I now know that we have information stored in our DNA that we can access if our channels are open. There are many beautiful messages in the story which I credit to my ancestors going way back to ancient Kemet.

Download Year One and read it FREE!

I removed the letter to God that I had channelled, and also my explanation of what fornication really means (it doesn’t mean ‘sex before marriage’!) The story flows a lot better right from the start in my opinion, so even if you read Journey of a Sister, you’ll still want to read MELANIN TWINS, as it’s gone through a transformation of it’s own!

Are you an Amazon Prime member? Borrow the e-book series from their lending library FREE! (or just 0.99 each)

Enjoy the free reads! Should you wish to purchase the full e-book (Years 1-13) in PDF format, the link is at the end of the Year One free download, proceeds will go towards producing a 20-minute trailer for MELANIN TWINS the movie! If you would simply like to make a contribution to the movie trailer you can do so via PayPal, thanking you in advance! (I’m aiming to produce the trailer by March 2020).

Re-educating Our Children through Film!

This Saturday join us at the Children’s Cultural Film Club screening of Bedknobs and Broomsticks with a film breakdown by Galactic Clyde! Children: £4, adults FREE with paying child.  FREE 🍿popcorn and 🥤drinks, my vegan soup will also be on sale! 2-4pm @ T-Chances, 399 High Road Tottenham London N17, see you there! (Pay on the door)

In your service,

Author | Visual & Spoken Word Artist| Soul Purpose Tribe Leader

‘Promoting LOVE through Creativity!’

One thought on “Personal Year Reflection

  1. Wow ,You are so cute.I love how you are able to bring your talents to a convergence of monetary flow.Happy belated Birthday.lolly

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