Sex with the EX

I was inspired to create this poster after getting back in touch with two of my ex’s recently. The first was the man I based the ‘Charles’ character on in my novel ‘Single, Spiritual…AND Sexual!’. We had an on-off thing for 11 years; our first meeting (and sexual experience) was so profound, that I wrote it into the story! Over the 11-year period, every ‘encounter’ with him helped me to grow as a person. However, we never had a proper relationship. Maybe we weren’t meant to. The second was a friend of mine who I had an ‘arrangement’ with about 15 years ago; Neither of us were in a position to have a full-blown relationship at the time, so we had an agreement that we would meet up every other weekend, just for sex.

Last year I had sex with the EX
SAFE sex I might add (let me just make that clear from the start)
But one thing I forgot to protect myself from was
Sexually Transmitted Diseases of the HEART.

Let me tell you the story…

See, we’d been apart for a while now
Our relationship ended amicably,
And even though we couldn’t get along, we still had a lot of chemistry
Anyway, he was now with a new girlfriend and I was practicing celibacy
After my own long-term relationship ended bitterly.

But after two years of celibacy, I was feeling horny
And not wanting to sleep with just anybody
I thought of my EX.

Now I already knew he was taken, but that didn’t stop me
See we still kept in contact and it was obvious from what he’d been telling me
That she wasn’t loving him the way he needed to be
So I took it upon myself to give him some of what he’d been missing
And I invited him over for a ‘cup of tea’.

Now he knew what he was getting himself into
So if it didn’t bother him, it didn’t bother me.

It wasn’t long before we were kissing and touching
We forgot all about the original plan
We made love over and over again
I didn’t stop until I’d had my fill and it felt soooo goooood!
“You’re just as I remembered” he crooned.

It wasn’t just sex, it was more like a re-connection
A deep spiritual connection, like what we’d had in the beginning?

But then, my ex reminded me about his girlfriend,
His ‘other half’ he had the nerve to exclaim
Like what we’d just shared meant nothing to him!

I broke my two year celibacy for a night of passion
(Well two nights actually)
But while I was having fun with him and feeling free
Releasing all my pent-up passion with multiple orgasms
I forgot that he didn’t belong to me
He told me that he had no intention of breaking up with her
And that I should just see it for what it was meant to be
‘A bit of fun’
How could he do that to me?

And what did it do for me really?
For a whole month, I was messed up
Mentally, emotionally, spiritually
It felt as if the very essence had been drained from me
It was as if the bad karma I’d created was coming back to haunt me!
I didn’t know the woman, she didn’t even know about me
But I wouldn’t want my man going off sleeping with another woman
So why was I sowing those seeds?
‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you’
That’s the Law,
‘What goes around comes around’ is true.

It took a while for me to recover from my wrong,
To heal from the damage I’d done
But as time went on and I learnt the lesson
I began focusing on developing my Self and making progression….

But then, who calls me up out of the blue?

My EX! (As they do)
Telling me how much he misses me and can we get together, “just us two”

Now sister-friends,
When your ex calls you up telling you he wants to get together for old time’s sake
You should take that as a warning
And take the quickest exit out of THAT conversation before you get drawn in,
You know what I mean?

Now what got me vex was that my ex ASSUMED I’d be up for it
He just wanted to have his cake and eat it!
He didn’t even notice how much I’d grown spiritually,
All he was interested in was cheating on his woman, with me!

He thought I was that same silly girl he was dealing with a year ago (churps)
I had to tell him where to go!

So ladies,
Next time you fancy some sex and you think of your EX
Keep your fantasies in your panties where they belong,
And don’t try to turn them into reality
You see life is a journey,
And relationships are simply stepping stones on your journey in life
And when you begin to realize them as such,
You want want to keep taking steps…….BACKWARDS.

Do you want to hear the ending to this story?

THIS year when my EX called me up
I told him;
“Next time you’re feeling frisky,
Don’t think of me
Don’t call me, don’t text me, don’t even email me
See I’m not looking for a fling,
I’m looking for my King
And you already have your Queen”

I don’t even feel sorry for him.

Sex with the EX didn’t make much sense
But it certainly made a good…..poem.

So now they are both back on the scene. The temptation to jump back into bed with the first ex was great, since that’s what we always did. Luckily, I had moved to the other side of London, so those late night calls that would normally have end up with ‘get ready, I’ll come and pick you up’ or ‘jump in a cab and come over’ weren’t going to happen so easily. It wasn’t long before I remembered why we hadn’t had a proper relationship; although the sex was great, we were on two different wavelengths mentally. I’d written my poem ‘Sex with the EX‘ after an ‘encounter’ with him in 2007, but we still had sex after that (I was just venting!)

The second ex saw this poster on my Whatsapp profile and asked ‘Do I qualify as an EX?’

So are there any times when you can make exceptions to this ‘No Sex with the EX’ rule?

Personally, I believe that relationships are designed to help you to grow and develop. Once you’ve learnt what you can from that relationship, it’s time to move on. I’m guilty of looking back, thinking that there might still be something there to salvage, but in reality, as my poems says, “When your ex calls you up telling you he wants to get together for old times’ sake, you should take that as a warning, and take the quickest exit out of that conversation before you get drawn in, you know what I mean?”

Enjoy your journey!