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“Do you want to know what would make a man put a ring on it?”

Are you a single sister waiting to meet and marry your soul mate, settle down and perhaps start a family?

Are you concerned that you may have left it too late to start a family while waiting for ‘Mr Right’?

Would you like to hear from the MEN what would make them put a ring on it?

My latest Self-help book ‘How to Get the Ring On Your Finger’ has contributions from over 30 brothers and shows you how to best prepare your Self to meet your soul mate, and guides you through the whole dating process, including doing the ‘6 Month Test’ and a ‘DIY Arranged Marriage‘!


What is a ‘Soul Mate’, and How Will You Know When You’ve Found Yours?

  •       A person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.
  •       A person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity.  This may involve        similarity, love, spirituality, or compatibility and trust
  •      A person with whom you have an immediate connection the moment you meet – a connection so strong that you are drawn to them in a way you have never experienced before. As this connection develops over time, you experience a love so deep, strong and complex, that you begin to doubt that you have ever truly loved anyone prior. Your soul mate understands and connects with you in every way and on every level, which brings a sense of peace, calmness and happiness when you are around them. And when you are not around them, you are all that much more aware of the harshness of life, and how bonding with another person in this way is the most significant and satisfying thing you will experience in your lifetime. You are also all that much aware of the beauty in life, because you have been given a great gift and will always be thankful.
  •      Your soul mate is the ‘other you’. This will be the one you spend the rest of your life loving, and getting to know. You will still argue and fight, but you will also complete each other’s sentences and instinctively understand the others feelings. This is the person you look for all your life, and no matter when you find them, they are always worth the wait.

loving couple(I got all those answers from the internet).

Can You Have More Than One Soul Mate?

I believe it IS possible to have more than one soul mate.  Don’t get hung up on the guy you had a real connection with.  He’s gone.  He served his purpose.  Relationships don’t have to last a lifetime, they are there to help you grow and develop.  If you’re in a relationship that’s keeping you from growing, it’s unhealthy.  Don’t stay in a relationship just so you can say you’re in one.

Are Soul Mates for Life?

I personally don’t believe that relationships have to last ‘forever’.  Oftentimes, two people cross paths on their individual journeys in life, and if they’re not heading in the same direction, will later on find out that they are in two different places (destinations).  Once you’ve learnt your ‘lesson’ from that relationship, it’s time to move on.  It is rare that you will meet your soul mate first time, get married and still be ‘together’ 30 years later.  I’m still waiting to meet the man who is walking the same path as me and growing at the rate I’m growing.  If you are not growing at the same rate, one of you will get left behind.

If you’re stuck in a marriage (or relationship) that is stagnant, neither of you will be able to grow to your full potential.  I’ve had some really beautiful, deep, meaningful relationships, but I have no desire to go back to them.  They served their purpose and helped me to grow into the person I am today.  You’ve got to know when it’s time to move on. Have no fear!  Something better is down the road…

Are You Afraid of Being Alone?

Before expecting someone to join you on your journey in life, you should have an idea of where you’re going.

If you have not yet asked your Self the questions “Who Am I?” and “Why am I here?” you have not yet begun your journey of Self-discovery.  Most people are frightened of spending time alone in the Silence.  They’ll have the tell-lie-vision on for company, or the radio, or they’ll get on the phone and call a friend.  Their own company just isn’t good enough.  When you begin your journey of Self-discovery you will begin to appreciate your own company.

Big Fro Take some time today to just sit in the Silence, on your own.  Switch your phone off (or put it on silent if the thought of being totally phoneless is too much).  Close your eyes.  Take deep breaths and connect with your inner Self.  Stay there.  Don’t start fidgeting and thinking that nothing’s happening.  Go deeper.  Look deep inside your Self.  It’s only in the Silence that you can begin to hear your inner voice clearly, and connect with The Real You.

“Meditation is nothing but a time when you can relax utterly into yourself, when you close all your doors, all your senses, to the outside stimulus. You disappear from the world. You forget the world as if it exists no more – no newspapers, no radio, no television, no people. You are alone in your innermost being, relaxed, at home”. ~ Eye’m King

Get to know your Self fully, before trying to get to know someone else.  Who are you?  What are you here for? What do you stand for?  What are your dreams, goals and aspirations?  Are you clear about your own life?  Spend time alone, in the Silence, with a notebook and pen, and write down the answers to these questions.  Are they clear to you?

What do you want out of life? Where do you see your Self in a year’s time? Three years? Ten years?  Before thinking about meeting and getting to know a man, get to know your Self first!

Know Your Worth

Some advice from the brothers:

“A Woman has to know her worth and she has to know what she will accept and not accept. A Woman also has to know that sometimes being alone and being married to her Self is one of the best relationships that she can ever be in. LOVE THY SELF. And when she is able to do that all things will come to her” ~ Kushi Myers, poet

First, know thyself (faith, values, beliefs). If you don’t stand for something, you stand for nothing.  Having a solid foundation will ensure you project outwards your needs…and attract the ideal person you deserve” ~ LG (Motivational Speaker and Success Coach)

“Know yourself.  If you’re insecure and you marry a secure man, no matter how much he affirms your beauty, his love for you etc. you will not be able to respond to his love and positive affirmations about you.” ~ Bunmi

“Women who are seeking their ultimate eternal soul mate should really concentrate on knowing themselves.  Knowing what they truly want in a relationship.  Relationships are never going to be easy because we are forever changing beings.  It’s best to be always changing for the positive. Women should never use their body to get a man, they should use knowledge. Show respect for themselves.  Not dress cheaply and tartishly.” ~ Yeshuah the 1st, conscious Hip-hop rapper

Poem by Sojourner Truth: ‘Ain’t I A Woman?’

“That man over there say a woman needs to be helped into carriages

And lifted over ditches

And to have the best place everywhere.

Nobody ever helped me into carriages or over mud puddles

or gives me a best place…

And ain’t I a woman?

Look at me, Look at my arm!

I have plowed and planted and gathered into barns,

and no man could head me…

And ain’t I a woman?

I could work as much and eat as much as a man –

When I could get to it – And bear the lash as well.

And ain’t I a woman?

I have borne 13 children and seen most sold into slavery

And when I cried a mother’s grief

None but Jesus heard me…

And ain’t I a woman?

That little man there in black say a woman can’t have as much rights as a man

cause Christ wasn’t a woman… Where did your Christ come from?

From God and a woman!

Man had nothing to do with Him!

If the first woman God ever made was strong enough to turn the world upside down,

All alone together women ought to be able to turn it Right-side Up again”. 

If an enslaved woman who’s been raped, beaten, had her children sold into slavery, forced to serve a false god, and had all her dignity stripped from her can still realize her Self-worth, so can you.

Identify Your ‘Issue’

I know what my issues are, do you?

I identified my issue as being ‘emotionally unavailable’, meaning I was out of touch with my feelings.  In the past I could really be ‘in love’ with a brother, but wouldn’t know how to express that to him verbally.  I could have feelings deep enough to swim in, but the words just wouldn’t come out of my mouth.  I have sabotaged my best relationships because I didn’t feel worthy of them.

I was finally able to get to the root cause of my issue a couple of years ago during my own Self-healing journey: when I was growing up, I never heard the words “I love you” from my mother (or father).  I was never hugged, or treated in a loving way.  I felt as if my mother didn’t even like me, let alone love me.  I grew up in fear of being attacked with the belt (or whatever else my mother could lay her hands on).  I was told I’m the ‘ugly duckling of the family’ because I was the darkest of the daughters.  I was told I was a ‘whatless good-for-nothing croft’.  The verbal abuse affected me worse than the physical abuse, because it affected me psychologically; I grew up believing I was ugly, worthless and unlovable.

I had to do a lot of work on my Self to get where I am now; with raised Self-esteem, learning to love my Self unconditionally and seeing that true beauty has nothing to do with the shade of my skin – in fact, now I wouldn’t mind being darker, especially after learning about the benefits of Melanin!

If you were to meet me now, you wouldn’t believe that some years ago I had low Self-esteem, and couldn’t see what any man could possibly love about me.  I didn’t believe in my Self or my abilities and remained a blocked writer and artist for over 20 years.  It took years of working with Positive Affirmations where I would look in the mirror and affirm to my Self things like “I, Cezanne am a brilliant and successful artist, I am a prolific writer, I am a first-class performer, I am confident and competent in my creative work, I trust my perceptions, I love my Self, I feel good about my Self, I am beautiful….”  I still struggle with the last one, but I keep affirming it to my Self anyway.  The great thing about working with Positive Affirmations is that eventually people begin telling you what you’ve been telling your Self, without them even knowing it.  Do you know how many people have told me I am a goddess, or that I am beautiful, or a prolific writer?  Your outer world is simply a reflection of your inner world!  I am still working on my Self….

Until you are able to identify why you are still single, you won’t be in a position to heal your Self.  You could come up with all sorts of reasons why you are still single, like “there are not enough black men to go around”, or “all the good Black men are already married”, or “It’s not ME with the issue, it’s HIM!”

It’s Time to Heal Our Selves!

Let him be the man

Where do our relationship issues stem from?  What is the ROOT CAUSE of our problems?

In order to go FORWARD we have to go BACK 

“First we have to understand our recent history; those of us taken from Africa to the Western hemisphere during the enslavement were not allowed to create a family.  It is only in the last 175 years since Maafa that West Indians were allowed to create a family.  Marriage before 50 is a new concept.  It is unwise to compare ourselves to other groups of people.  We are still practicing practices taught to us during slavery; men had no rights over their children.  This is genetic memory.  It is taught behaviour.  If we don’t understand our history, we won’t be able to understand why we behave the way we do, and consequently we won’t be able to correct our behaviour.  There are people who don’t know that they don’t know, and there are people who don’t want to know.  The reason we can’t go forward is because we won’t go backward”  ~ Michael, BIS Publications

In Year Two of my Self-help novel, Suzanne was shocked when she began learning about what happened to her ancestors during their 400 years of enslavement; yet it helped her to innerstand her own ‘Independent Black Woman’ attitude, and why the father of her two children couldn’t seem to help doing a disappearing act as soon as she got pregnant.  It also helped her to change her own behavioural patterns and expect marriage before having any more children.

Black Family

“We talk about our history and we talk about the experiences we’ve had; we have documentation about Willie Lynch and his psychological programming, well part of the psychological programming was to hang, draw and quarter the most strongest-looking Black man in order to traumatize the observers.  Then they would get another strong-looking Black man and whip him to the end of his life – not to death, but until he became like a snivelling little youth getting terrorized by his mother.   The women and children are observing this.  The purpose of it is to traumatize the mind, so they could start moulding it the way they wanted it to be.   This dropped the frequencies in the women by making them full of fear.  Then they would whip out any resistance being put up by the women as if they were breaking in a horse.  Now they could negotiate through her.  She now looks up to the white man as the man (not the Black man), HE (the white man) now has all the masculine energy that she fears (not loves), and learns to respect him like the Stockholm Syndrome, and begins to love her own abuser.  This is the psychology that you still see happening today between Black people.  You mess with the root, you’ve got the whole tree” ~ Siayoum Atum Ab Ankh Rhem, Astrologer

I wasn’t in a relationship when I wrote my poem We Belong Together.  The emotions I was feeling were as a result of watching the film ‘Sankofa’ the night before.  I dedicated it to all descendants of the enslaved still suffering from Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome:

Yeah I know sometimes I don’t treat you right

And I bet you wonder what happened to me

Why I seem so uptight and angry?

And all I wanna seem to do is fuss and fight

And not give you the right to take your place

As King upon your throne in our home

But sometimes I can’t seem to help the way I feel,

It’s like something that’s been passed down to me through my bloodline

And I need you to help me heal…

See, my brother, my King,

I’m beginning to innerstand

That I’m still in an emotional state of shock

After seeing the things they did to you in our history,

And the things they did to me!

So you see,

There’s a lot of healing that needs to take place between you and me,

And our community

And I’m willing to do whatever it takes to help us heal, are you?

Because brother, I want us to be together

I choose you, not another

And I’m trying, I’m really trying to heal

But you’ve got to help me, and I’ve got to help you

Brother, we need each other,

I can’t do it without you, and you can’t do it without me

We’ve got to stick together, We Belong Together

Let’s not let another come between us,

Let the Love for each other be stronger

(We’ve got to heal ourselves)

And I know sometimes I don’t treat you right

And all I wanna seem to do is fuss and fight

And not give you the right to take your place

as King upon your throne in our home

But I can’t do it without you, and you can’t do it without me

See, we need each other

We’ve got to stick together, We Belong Together

Let’s not let another come between us,

Let the Love for each other be stronger.

My brother, my King,

We’ve got to do this together

(We’ve got to heal ourselves)

And I know sometimes I treat you like less than a man

And yes I know you have your own issues to deal with,

Lack of employment weighing you down

Disabling you from providing for me and our children

‘Cos that’s the way they planned it,

So that I would not give you your rightful position as ‘My King’

But I will do my best to help you in whatever way I can,

To help you rise and be the man you’re destined to be, to me.

And there are times when I pretend I don’t need you,

And you act like you don’t want me

But the truth is,

I’m your sister, you’re my brother

And we’ve got to stick together

We need each other,

We Belong Together.

Let’s not let another come between us,

Let the Love for each other be stronger.

And yeah, I know sometimes I verbally abuse you

Because there’s so much pain inside of me

But today I pledge to do the best I can

To help you rise to be the man,

The KING you’re destined to be.

© Cezanne Poetess 2011

Work on Your Self First

Before we as Black women and men can begin to join ourselves to each other we have to work on ourselves first.  You are not looking for someone to ‘complete’ you; both individuals should come into the relationship as two whole people, not two halves trying to make a whole.

“A life partner does not complete you; a life partner is icing on the cake of your own complete life. Do not look outside yourself for happiness. Then the relationship you truly want and need will come” ~ Eye’m King

Affirmation: “I am whole and complete in my Self”

While you are single, use this time to develop your Self.  Start a Self-development programme.  When I was a blocked writer and artist the book that helped me unblock after 20 years was ‘The Artist’s Way’ by Julia Cameron.  It was a 12-week programme that involved daily and weekly exercises.  Decide what part of your Self you wish to develop and find a course to do.  It doesn’t have to be one you have to go out to do, it can be one you do from home.  Another book I would recommend is ‘Heal Thyself’ by Queen Afua, which I have referenced in my Self-help novel.  That is another great book that assisted me on my Self-healing journey.

Learn how to meditate; this is another thing which really helped me deal with my negative thinking patterns (which is an on-going process).

“There are different levels of development; we believe that because we’ve got a grown body, that makes us a woman or a man; that’s just a growth, but the development doesn’t stop because your body’s grown.  It’s inward. It’s about spiritual maturity: spiritual, mental and emotional as well as the physical.  And it’s about developing all those levels of your Self. So what I’m saying is that the issues and the problems that we have is based on the erroneous way we relate to ourselves as male or female, and therefore how we relate to each other and interact.  So when this Willie Lynch thing was done upon us we have to look into the words ‘Willie Lynch’ – our WILL has been LYNCHED.  Your will to be what you want to be has been lynched, and you’ve been made into what someone else wants you to be.  So you don’t have your will to be yourself.  You’re being what someone else wants you to be.  It’s the WILL of the ‘I’ that can be what it wills to be.  ‘I’ is the spiritual identity, not the physical idea or ego personality in which you’re only thinking about yourself.  No, we’re dealing with your Self.  What’s good for you must be good for the Whole.  See?  It’s that individual connection to the Whole, the Universal.  And that is the true relationship to start with, to know.  Our relationships are bringing us back to that fundamental principle of ourselves, for us to know what Love is, because even the way we think about Love is not Love, it’s about desperation, it’s about “Oh God, please send someone to fill up my emptiness”.  That’s not Love, it’s neediness, it’s a fear of being alone, and these things have been played out through the media, through films, to be called ‘Love’” ~ Saiyoum

In my poem I Am What I WILL to Be!(on the ‘Seeds of Love’ CD) I explain how I am using Positive Affirmations to ‘change everything about me, re-creating Who I Am and Who I Wish to Be’, and how you can too!)

Before Africans were enslaved by Europeans, the family was the core of the community.  The Black Woman was the nuclear of that core, and it ‘took a village to raise a child’. During their 400 years of enslavement, families were torn apart, the strongest men were publicly slaughtered and humiliated, the women were raped and turned into sex slaves (I dread to think that the children were too), they were stripped of their names, language, culture and spirituality and forced to worship a false god.  If you have never read the Willie Lynch letter, I suggest you do, in order to fully realise that the psychological trauma our ancestors suffered was far worse than the physical trauma, because it’s still affecting their descendants today.

Symptoms of Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome:

Do you look up to the white man while having little respect for the Black man?  Do you have an ‘I don’t need a man’ attitude? Do you allow others to violate your body? Do you still see the white Jesus as your god? Do you beat your children mercilessly? Do you wish you were white, or lighter skinned?  These are all psychological imprints of what was done to our ancestors, handed down to you genetically.  If you don’t know where your behaviour comes from, you will not be in a position to begin the process of healing your Self.

Are you still carrying Emotional Baggage from previous relationships?

‘…..Each time I’m reminded of a negative experience it starts a chain reaction

I lash out, shout and scream, say words I don’t mean

And before I know it, I’m alone again!’

(‘Love Attractionon the CD ‘Seeds of Love’)

Does this sound familiar?  Do you find yourself reacting in a way you didn’t intend to, based upon something that happened in a previous relationship?  If so, you’re still carrying Emotional Baggage!  I wrote the poemsong Love Attraction just for you!  The poem (guided by my inner voice) gives a step by step process for preparing your Self to meet your Soul Mate.  All emotional baggage from previous relationships has got to be dropped.  Then you need to work on your Self.  Finally, you need to focus on the type of man you want to attract.  When you feel ready for him, he’ll show up.

Here’s some advice from contributor Nigel Beckles:

“Have you worked on your personal development?  Have you worked through any emotional baggage that may be sabotaging your relationship choices?  Many men and women enter relationships with unresolved issues; unfortunately these issues eventually surface during the relationship causing unnecessary pain and drama.  When you are single make time to work on yourself so you are the best version of yourself you can be.

Remember, a relationship is meant to enhance your life not be your life.  Make sure you have your own plans, goals and dreams that do not include a man”.

Taken from his book How to Avoid Making The BIG Relationships Mistakes!’ due for publication in 2014

What are you doing while you’re waiting for your man to appear?  Are you spending every evening watching ‘programmes’ on the tell-lie-vision?  Or do you spend them on the phone, or Social Networking?  Prepare yourself by becoming the type of person you wish to attract.

You Attract Who You Are

 Self Love Products2‘Self Love’ by Cezanne

Whatever you desire to attract in a man, develop it in your Self.  Do you want a man who is loving?  Be loving!  Do you want a man who will respect you?  Respect your Self!  Do you want a man who is a good communicator?  Be one yourself.  Do you want a man who is spiritual?  Then get in touch with your own spirituality.  See?

My painting ‘Self Love’ is symbolic:  Our thoughts are seeds and our mind is the garden.  Thoughts rooted in Love produce a harvest of beautiful flowers, while thoughts rooted in fear produce weed-like thoughts (you know how fast weeds grow, don’t you?).  Start cultivating your mind by learning how to uproot negative thoughts and replacing them with positive thoughts.  When you are thinking positive thoughts, you radiate positive energy, when you are thinking negatively, you radiate negative energy.  Depending on what frequency you are on, will determine what you attract to your Self (explained fully in my poem Fertile Soil on the Seeds of Love CD).  The sun represents our Solar Plexus, where we as women feel from.

“Exude love and send it out into the world. How others treat us is their path and how we react is ours…we are what we give” ~ Wilfred ‘Rawventure’ Campbell

Orman Griffith is a very prolific and deep brother very active on Facebook (who happens to like writing in CAPITALS), this is what he had to say:



IF this statement is true, each seeker must by definition be emboldened by the FULL REALIZATION of their WORTH & POTENTIAL.

Any relationship that is envisioned as productive & progressive with the ultimate aim of consummation in the UNION OF MARRIAGE must be tempered & forged in the un-quenching fires of the human disjoin of “The Lust of Power & The Power of Lust”

The contest to promote and provoke union has as its base several layers of complex and perhaps not often similar core structures of attraction and attractiveness, that weave into each other and embrace each other like strands of DNA that seek fusion at points that allow such union; and these points of cohesion may be as different as the poles of a magnet which when reversed can REPEL WITH THE SAME FORCE AS THEY ATTRACT…

Trust Your In-tuition

“The feminine energy was considered weak, because its intuitive power wasn’t appreciated. We were all taught to THINK, not FEEL”  ~ Eye’m King

Our strongest asset as women is our intuition.  We are ruled by our emotions.  We have an inner guidance system, which we are more in tune with than men are.  Not to say that men don’t have it as well, but ours is stronger.  Men are more logical; they think, we feel.

What is intuition?  Well look at how I broke down the word: In-tuition, in other words, it’s your inner teacher and guide.  How many times have you heard that still, small voice within tell you to do something and you ignored it, only to exasperatingly say later “If only I had listened to my spirit!”  So your in-tuition is there to guide you.  You can feel it in your Solar Plexus, located at the back of your stomach.  When you’re on the right track you get a good feeling in your gut.  When you’re on the wrong track you get that churning feeling, warning you that you’re going wrong.  Learn to be guided by that.

Inner Life Coach

Learn to TRUST YOUR IN-TUITION.  Listen to what your inner guide is telling you to do, and follow it as often as possible.   Sometimes the things it tells you to do may seem irrational.  Once I was at a Business Seminar and one of the speakers was about to give away one of his packages worth thousands of pounds which would have really helped me to take my business to the next level.  He told everyone to stand on their chairs.  My inner voice advised me to stay standing on my chair, raise my hand in the air and shout “I WANT THE PACKAGE!”  When he told everyone to get off their chairs and sit down again, I was too embarrassed to do what my inner voice had advised, and sat down with everyone else.  The man picked out a random person from the audience and gave away the package.  I was kicking myself for weeks after.

Even where relationships are concerned, you feel when something is right or wrong.  Get in touch with your inner feelings, they are your guide.  Remember, women go more by our feelings, men by their logic.  The two are really meant to compliment each other.  If both the man and woman operated in a logical manner, the relationship would lack feeling, and visa versa.  As the woman, you must be in touch with the feeling part of your Self, which is your femininity.

Get in Touch with Your Femininity

The Black Woman represents the Primordial Womban.  Therefore, she’s supposed to be the most feminine.  She’s supposed to be the most balanced being, which means that she is FEMININE, and that she respects and embraces the MASCULINE.  She loves the masculine because it is part of her.  When a woman is in a physical, feminine body she has to be in tune to the integrity of the vehicle, because that’s what the soul has chosen to incarnate in (same with a man).  So therefore there’s a role a woman plays when we’re talking about a woman in a feminine vehicle that can give birth.  She’s got to innerstand her creative power and how that is used so she can bring balance to the planet” ~ Siayoum

What does being feminine mean to you? We as Black women must give up the Eurocentric idea of what being feminine is and get back to our own cultural ways of dealing with our men, for our relationships to work.  As part of preparing your Self to meet your soul mate, find out as much as you can about the Afrocentric way.  The book ‘An Afrocentric Guide to a Spiritual Union’ by Ra Un Nefer Amen is a good start; it inspired parts of my poem R U The One?

“Firstly, a woman needs to be in her feminine energy/femininity otherwise the man has nothing to interact with, unless he’s interacting with another man.  There’s a difference in THINKING you’re feminine and FEELING feminine. It’s about the right relationship between Male and Female.  There has to be MUTUAL HONOUR. There has to be MUTUAL RESPECT….

My King Plain copy‘My King’ by Cezanne

(The Adinkra Symbol represents the Sun and the Moon)

“…If a man is giving and the woman is receiving but she’s not reflecting back then it becomes an imbalanced energy.  A man will hold back if he’s not being received like a man. If a woman is not being feminine in her energy e.g. she’s being challenging, controlling, on a male polarity it’s not healthy for her.  A woman needs to stop believing her feminine energy is weak, and to surrender”.

(I asked Saiyoum: How should a woman be in her feminine energy?)  “Be open, be gentle, be soft.  There’s no weakness in that.  A lot of women are very hard.  You see the body’s an emotional filter, so whatever your thoughts and feelings are will reflect through the physical form”

The Strength of a Woman Can Become Her Biggest Flaw by Darren Moxam, (Author, playwrite)

      “Throughout the ages it has always been biblical law that the man provides and the woman is the lady of the house. She looks after the nest, cooks, cleans whilst the man brings the fruits home. However through generations a woman’s independence has come to the forefront and as the woman becomes more independent the man becomes less depended on. This is not a bad thing however as long as balance in the relationship remains. Men have egos and pride, and a man’s manhood is easily disrupted if he is not able to show his worth. He needs that ego boost as much as he needs to hear the words “You have done a good job..” ~ copyright © 2013 Darren Moxam, Author/Poet/Writer

Are you hearing what the brothers are saying, ladies?  You play your role as the woman in the relationship, and let him play his.  So, in preparation for meeting your soul mate, your homework is to practice operating in your feminine energy as much as possible, and to find out as much about the Afrocentric way of being a woman as possible.  If you’re a man reading this book, your job is to operate in your masculine energy, and find out how you should operate in the relationship from an Afrocentric point of view.

Once you have prepared your Self to meet your match, you will then be ready to start ‘putting it out there’.

You Attract What You Think About Most

Do you focus on what you want in a man, or what you don’t want?  I wrote the poem Love Attraction (with the help of my Higher Self) to help YOU attract your soul mate.

What Are You ‘Asking’ For?

This brings us to the subject of PRAYER.

What messages are you sending ‘out there’ when you say you want a husband?

What are you praying for?  How are you praying?  Are you speaking it into being, or just begging?  If you are ‘praying’ from a begging point of view e.g. “Oh Lord, please grant me this one wish; Give a husband, I beg you…Thank you Lord”

Or “Dear Father in Heaven, you know I’ve been faithful to Your Word.  I’ve not fornicated and I’ve waited patiently for the last 18 years for you to provide me with a husband.  I’m going to be 40 next week and I’m still not married.  Dear Lord, I really would like to have a child before menopause lik me.  Your Word says that you supply all my needs according to Your glorious riches in Christ Jesus, so whe’ me husban’ deh?”

Needless to say, this isn’t ‘praying’.  I’m sure you’ve prayed these kind of prayers many times before in real sincerity, and still nothing’s happened.

You ‘pray’ with your thoughts, words and actions.  Your voice commands your mind, body and spirit.  When you think a thought, that’s the first level of creation.  Thoughts are energy; they go out into the universe and stick together with other like-thoughts.  For instance, if your predominant thoughts are of meeting and marrying your soul mate, and you have a number of things on your list of qualities you’d like him to have, and he is also putting thoughts out there about finding his soul mate, with qualities similar to yours, you are more likely to be attracted to each other.

When you speak your thoughts, that’s the second level of creation.  Words are vibration.  The actions you put to your thoughts and words are the third level of creation; when your thoughts, words and deeds are all in agreement, whatever it is you are thinking about, speaking about and putting action to will eventually become your reality.  Are your thoughts, words and actions moving you closer towards your goal of meeting your Soul Mate, getting married and starting a family?  When you speak with emotion it affects your body on a cellular level.   Help your Self by speaking the Absolute Truth.  Keep your thoughts, words, and actions positive (your feelings will naturally follow).  Empower your Self by using these tools wisely! Repeat this Affirmation out loud 10 times a day:

“I am meeting and marrying my soul mate”

Can you feel your body vibrating?

That’s the Law of Attraction in Action!


black couple 1(Taken from ‘How to Get the Ring on Your Finger’ by Cezanne Poetess)

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2 thoughts on “FREE Preview: ‘How to Get the Ring On Your Finger’

  1. Pingback: Happy New YOU! Workshop Review | Cezanne Poetess (Artist/Poet/Author)

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