Suzanne loved spending time in Charles’ company. Their relationship was intense and passionate, and their arguments equally so. Sometimes they would have a disagreement and then wouldn’t speak for weeks. Despite this, it was as if the Forces of Nature kept pulling them back together. But was it Love, obsession, or just a natural reaction to each other’s chemistry?
On this occasion, they had just spent a lovely weekend together, and now Suzanne hadn’t heard from him in two days. She called his mobile. No answer. Should she call his landline? No answer. She wondered what he was doing when they weren’t together. Was he dating other women? Or was he just so busy with work that he didn’t have time to call? Her low Self-esteem demon usually reared its ugly head at times like this, and while she tried to get visions of him with other women out of her head, thoughts would tell her she wasn’t good enough, pretty enough, or successful enough for him. The only way to combat them was by constantly telling her Self that she was good enough for him. She wanted to call his mobile again, but her inner voice was telling her to relax. She didn’t want her negative Scorpio trait of being jealous and possessive to rule, so she always tried her best not to ask those kind of questions when he did finally call. To get rid of the tension she was feeling, she decided to put pen to paper:
When we come together
We’re like a river flowing effortlessly,
Safe in your arms
Your embrace is the only protection I need.
But we both need time to grow, baby
To develop ourselves individually
So I’m giving you the space that you need
With no expectations from me
(And I want you to know)
I trust you baby,
I know you’ve got your things to do
And I’ve got mine too…
She felt much better when she had finished. Her inner voice was always telling her to have no expectations of Charles, that ‘expectations inhibit the flow of love’ and that ‘The least expectations you have of someone, the more likely they are to surpass them’. But having no expectations of him was proving to be difficult. How could she not expect more from the relationship, when everything was going so good? Why shouldn’t she expect him to want to take it to the ‘next level’? Commitment! That’s what she wanted. Was that asking too much?
‘Stuff that – next time he calls, I’m gonna give him a piece of my mind!’ she thought.
Later that evening, Charles called.
“Hi babes, how are you?” he asked cheerfully.
“Could be better” she replied, off-key.
“Why, what’s wrong?” he asked in a concerned tone.
“I don’t think you appreciate me!” she started.
“What makes you say that?” he asked, surprised.
“Well look, we spent a lovely weekend together, and then you don’t even call for two days!”
“Babe, I’ve been busy, you know my work schedule”
“What, too busy to even pick up the phone?”
Charles was tired. He didn’t need this headache right now. He’d only called to hear her voice, and now she was attacking him with it!
“Charles? Are you still there?”
“I know you’re listening! Don’t ignore me when I’m talking to you!”
“What do you want me to say?” he asked wearily.
“Well you could at least have the decency to answer me when I’m talking to you!”
Silence. He knew where this was going.
If Suzanne had taken the time to listen to what her inner voice was saying, she would have known to stop right there. Maybe if it hadn’t been her time of the month, she might have handled the situation differently, but no, she kept on going;
“How do I even know you’re not sleeping with other women? For all I know you could have a dozen other women out there besides me!”
He felt offended.
“Babe, you know I’m a one-woman man”
“So where are you when you’re not with me then?” she demanded to know.
He wanted to remind her that apart from working full time, he was also developing him Self; he studied Numerology some evenings, and was also learning how to apply Universal Laws. He had set Suzanna on her Path of Truth, but he still had his own journey to make as well. So when he got home from work in the evenings, after having a shower and making himself something to eat, he would study for two or three hours before retiring to bed. If he called Suzanne, he knew they would be on the phone for ages. Texting didn’t work either – after receiving a text from him, she would then try to hold a whole conversation by text! So he rather waited until he had the time to talk with her properly. But he didn’t tell her that.
“Suzanne, I really have to go, I have another busy day ahead of me tomorrow”
“Charles, if you hang up on me, we’re through!”
“We’ll talk about this tomorrow, ok?”
“I’m serious Charles, if you hang up on me, it’s over!”
Charles hangs up.
In a fit of rage, Suzanne deleted his number from her phone.
But out of the chaos and confusion something beautiful was growing, like a rose growing out of the crack in a concrete pavement.
IT’S THE BOOK YOU’VE BEEN WAITING FOR!
‘A Self-help Book told in a Novel Way’
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2 thoughts on “Extract from Journey of a Sister: ‘Trust’”
Loving this Cezanne. I can relate to this (my past I might add). Its very good.
Thank you Yvonne, yes I’ve been there too! Lol
I love this journey, every situation we go through only serves to make us stronger!